READER FINDS: Rihanna Crazy Sexy Oily, Lily Allen Topless Oops, Elizabeth Olsen Topless And Much Much More…

Rihanna Sexy Esquire Screenshots 2014
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The apex of the week has been achieved. If apex means end, I can never remember. Here were are on a Friday. The tech team began drinking here at Egotastic! on Wednesday just to get a head start. One beer between them and their pretty much snookered for 72 hours. Their pale skinny bodies are uniquely unable to process alcohol. As for the rest of us here in the penthouse basement suite, we don’t touch a drop of the good stuff until we’ve carefully reviewed all the goodies in the goody bag known as Reader Finds. And this week’s bag has some goodies alright.

This week’s Reader Finds includes Rihanna greasy boobtastic in Esquire behind the scenes (thank you to EgoReader ‘Justin B’), Lily Allen funbags slipping out on British TV (kudos to ‘Marcus” for this treasure), Erin O’Brien ginger topped Jailbait (wow, luscious lovely stills from ‘Ben B.’), Rosanna Arquette topless in her hey day (hey days via ‘Kenny’), Sharon Hinnendael in not one, but two getting jiggy with topless girls fun parts (visual treats courtesy of ‘Eileen’), sisterly topless Lynette and Leigh Harris classic skinematic lust (dropped off kindly by ‘Sir Jest’), Virginia Madsen an unsung hero of the topless thespianics (delivered to the doorstep by ‘Francis’), Anne Hathaway quite topless in her early work (luscious Hathaways from the mind of ‘Devon’), Scarlett Johansson cleavage in Lucy (delightful melons thanks to ‘O-Bomb’), Gillian Jacobs topless perfect ta-ta’s (oh, what a visual day with help from ‘Ben O’), Mimi Rogers and her epic epic bare funbags (first wife of Cruise treats a la ‘Owen D.’), Marisa Tomei such underrated hottie bare tops (loves me some Tomei promoted by ‘Sullivan’), Elizabeth Olsen flashing her sweet teatly treats (the finest Olsen sister bare via ‘Steve H.’), Keira Knightly topless untouched in Interview magazine (submitted by so many of you god-fearing readers, thanks), Calvin Klein would be model Myla Delbasio nekkid modeling pics (she’s not “fat” Calvin, she’s perfect, much obliged to ‘David M.’), and last but not least, Gwendoline Christie statuesque and nekkid without her armor on (lovely addition by ‘Michael G.’). You can’t handle the tubes! Or can you? Enjoy.

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Hilary Swank Topless, Ruth Wilson Topless, Lizzy Caplan and Anna Paquin, Yep, Also Topless in the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

Mr. Skin Minute for November 14, 2014
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The weather outside is frightful, but inside it’s so delightfully filled with faptastic funbags you really ought to consider doing your holiday shopping from the mobile device entirely as I do, and instead turn your time and attention to catching up with the mega amounts of flesh filled celebrity fantasy available on the big and little screen. Our forecast for such skintastic comes to us from the wintery melon loving folks at Mr. Skin.

This week’s Mr. Skin Minute includes Hilary Swank topless now in theaters in The Homesman, Ruth Wilson topless and getting chowed down in The Affair on Showtime, and Lizzy Caplan and Anna Paquin and an assortment of other fanged beauties topless on the complete True Blood series now out on Blu-Ray. It’s a lot of ta-ta’s, but I know you and I know you can handle this. Enjoy.

As the holidays arrive soon, if you’re not purchasing an Ego-discounted membership to Mr. Skin for yourself or a loved one or friend, ask yourself this, why am I such a huge Grinch? Exactly. Don’t be a grinch. Get on this.

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Renata Frisson Nekkid Frolic on the Beach in Rio

Renata Frisson Goes Nekkid on the Beach in Rio de Janeiro
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Renata Frisson is something of a folk hero down Brazil way. The Carnival hottie and local boobtastic young legend was a prominent supporter of creating a nude section on the beach in Rio for those sweet looking Brazilian women for whom a thong is just too much clothing. God bless, Renata. She’s been given the nickname Melon Girl, which after seeing her nekkid on the beach, I’m kind of wondering just how on the nose Brazilians get with their nicknames.

This hot bodied model is everything there is right about nude beaches. Naturally, anyone who’s ever actually visited a nude beach knows of all that could possibly go wrong, making the entire proposition a 50-50 bet at best. Now, if we could only create a nekkid seaside spot where only girls like Renata were allowed admission. And, naturally, myself to serve as lifeguard and suntan lotion applier. Oh, the sun would shine just a little more brightly on that day, my friends. Enjoy.

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Nicole Neal Dares to Challenge the Chest of Rosie Jones in the Topless Battle of the Boobtastic

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The only thing I’d challenge the inimitable Rosie Jones to is to see how tightly she could secure me with office twine before having her way with me. I’d go for extra tight on the bonds, Rosie. Just a hint. I get Hulk like strength in the presence of women are way too hot for me. But, Nicole Neal has other designs this very day. Throwing down the gauntlet in the Battle of the Boobtastic against Rosie to see if her chest humps might dominate Rosie’s divine D’s.

It’s up to you to decide. Your weekly responsibility as an Egotastic! reader, a chivalrous knight, and a man of woman incredibly found of funbags. In your humble opinion, honed by years of leering, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Nicole Neal vs. Rosie Jones

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Nicole Trunfio Topless Teats Ridiculously Hot in a Magazine Called Treats

Nicole Trunfio Topless in Treats Magazine November 2014
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My friend Barney Bustamante told me as a kid if you want to get with the girls, you need to learn a little poetry. That was Plan B actually. Plan A was being handsome and the captain of the football team. Plan B seemed lame, but so much more attainable. Oh, the lackluster verses I would pen for Aussie model hottie Nicole Trunfio, she of the long lean hotness variety now on display in Treats magazine.

How happy am I to see one of my favorite Down Under exquisite beauties flashing her glorious funbags in Treats? Oh, there’s no known scale of measurement for such feelings. But it can best be expressed in the audible call of the Spring robin upon learning a mate will allow him to make some eggs in his lady. Best analogy I got. It’s horrible. Enjoy.

Constance Jablonski Topless Sultry Fashion Artsy (Sorry) Goodness in Numero

Constance Jablonski Topless in Numero #158 November 2014
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Oh, how I love when the hot French models get all European and flashing their funbags for the style magazines. Honestly, it’s proof that every cloud has a silver lining. For all the nonsense around fashion and style and pimping merch to the ladies, the upside is clearly the hot supermodels used therein, and in Europe, the insistence on showing some serious skin when selling swag.

Constance Jablonski floats my boat is so many different ways it’s likely to capsize without proper ballast. She of the French hottie variety of young models discovered in some market as a teen because she just looked more promising than all the rest. Good pick. She continues to exude that passion inducing quality even in these primarily meant for the ladies fashion pics such as this spread in Numero magazine. Then, of course, there is the matter of the perfect body and luscious peaches I’d love to can and store for winter. That’s not supposed to sound so horribly wrong but it probably does. Oh, Constance, let me be your scullery maid! Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Naked Topless Oily Full Frontal Too for Paper Magazine

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Paper Magazine is calling this rather monumental naked pictorial of Kim Kardashian ‘just broke the Internet’. I’m not so sure about that, maybe just busted a nut is more appropriate. Though there is no doubt that this is clearly Kim’s riskiest photo shoot probably ever, at least of the paid variety and not shot on amateur tape by her boyfriend. This is more revealing than Kim’s Playboy Magazine shoot even if you think about it. Or go look and compare.

I must admit, I’m shocked. I did not think we would see this. Or that somebody could afford so much baby oil. Kim shows all the parts that made her who she is today. I think there’s something admirable about her doing this, beyond just the titillation of seeing one of the most sought after funtime girls all nekkid and topless and such. Kim doesn’t care what you think. There’s nothing she won’t do to show she doesn’t care what you think, including giving you exactly what you want from her. That’s so damn meta. On this day, well done, Kim. Enjoy.