All-Stars Posts:

Mellisa Clarke So Simple So Topless So Damn Hot

 

It doesn't really take that much for Mellisa Clarke t o make me super happy. I mean like smile all over kind of pleasant feelings. Just taking off her lacy bra works for me in ways I could never have possibly imagined before puberty, though I subconsciously always anticipated.

The alt-brunette slender natural hottie wonder can do so much without the need for theatrics or complex staging or motifs of any kind besides, I'm hot, I'm topless, and you know you want me but I'm not going to say a word. I might be projecting a bit on that last part, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mellisa Clarke is a heartbreaker of rather noteworthy proportions. I'd be happy to let her break my heart, if it came after an impassioned round of nekkid Yahtzee. Oh, no, a die rolled under you and now it's missing. Search party activate. Enjoy.

Lissy Cunningham Urges Lucy Collett To Bring on the Ta’s for the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

With so much upheaval in the world, I do hope people will once again look at my forward thinking plan to settle all future disputes by contest of hot girls with outrageously plump funbags. I know there's some thrill in full scale bloodletting, but I really do believe sweater puppies properly unleashed can save this world of the need for such primitive forms of conflict resolution. Think of it as pacifism with a twist of crazy fine melons.

This week's non-violent Battle of the Boobtastic pits blonde bodacious battler Lissy Cunningham against my ginger lovely Lucy Collett. I could never possibly play favorites among two girls to whom I'd give my entire world for just one appropriately placed kiss. However, you must play favorites. It's your sacred duty. In your veteran ogling opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lissy Cunningham vs. Lucy Collett

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Sara Sampaio Topless Majestic Holy Hotness in Lui Magazine

 

You know I believe Sara Sampaio to be the most sextastic thing out of Portugal in, well, forever really. The sultry dark and alluring model often graces the pages of fashion magazines, swimsuit and occasionally lingerie shoots. But, now, oh lucky days, the ridiculously hot model is topless on the pages of Lui magazine, quickly becoming one of my very favorite periodicals in the world.

It's not that I can't be fully in lust with a young smoking hot model until I've closely examined her sweet funbags. It's just that that does help seal the deal in an orderly and expedited fashion. And, Sara, our deal is more than closed. Your body is just out of this world, though I wish more a part of my world. How I would spoil you if you were my girlfriend. For at least a month or so before neglect and taking for granted and other instinct kicked in. But, oh, what an August we would have. Let'd do this! Clothing optional. Enjoy.

Naked News Naked Jamaican Hedonistic Adventure (VIDEO)

 

When I heard the girls of Naked News were headed down to Hedonism II, the clothing optional resort in Jamaica, I thought to myself, hmm, I really hope they bring lots of cameras. And why of course they did. And they shot everything, I mean, right down to nekkid water sliding and scuba diving. That is so genius I want to give it a Nobel Prize and invite it to sit in the special box at the State of the Union Address.

You know I only pimp the shizz I love here on Egotastic! Quality content for your visual happiness. You really should get your Naked News fix. I highly recommend it if you happen to kind of like beautiful girls taking off their clothes for the love of you seeing them nekkid. Personally, I can't think of a higher ideal. Enjoy.

Check Out the Naked News Hedonism Nekkid Girls Tour Video (Uncensored)

Kurara Horie Removes Her Silken Robe for a Memorably Nekkid Photoshoot

 

Oh, that I were to live like a king in Japan and pick my own concubines. That would be the life. Well, I'd still need to have my DirecTV NFL package, but that would be the life. Okay, also my Diet Dr. Peppers, but I think you can get those in Japan. So my plan is ready to engage.

From among the list of potential candidates to fill my rice-paper walled boudoir would be Japanese glamour model Kurara Horie. You know, mostly for the conversation. After seeing Kurara remove her silky robe and reveal her epically fine female form beneath, I'm quite convinced she would be my perfect Connect-4 gaming partner. Oh, that Mother Nature does win awards for her busty Asian beauties. They really are some of her finest work. Enjoy.

L.Shima Nude and So Epic Body Hot I Want To Cry a Little Happy Tear

 

Exotic model beauty L.Shima really throws my entire circuitry into a flickering bit of disaster. I'm often rendered unable to use my voluntary muscles, stuck in my seat, attempting to mumble out the acronym 'OMG'. I can't think of a hotter image than L.Shima and her bodacious body barely covered in a wife beater and some Daisy Dukes. It's like she Incepted my mind and pulled out the super secret fantasy files and then reproduced them in real life. I don't think clams can be as happy as I am today, so I won't draw the comparison.

L.Shima, really, we have to get together sometime so I can charcoal sketch you. I don't actually know how to charcoal sketch, but I could probably pretend well enough that you wouldn't notice that I'm hardly looking at my canvas during your sitting. My knees are knocking again. Please, L.Shima, don't ever make it stop. Hot damn. Enjoy.

Josephine Skriver Topless Natural Hotness for Allure

 

If you happened to notice the almost six foot tall lithesome Danish hottie in the Victoria's Secret fashion show last fall, that was Josephine Skriver, a Danish delight of an entirely different and high fashion sort. The 21-year old is gaining major traction in European modeling circles so I think it's about time we see her topless from the pages of Allure Russia.

I'm not suggesting that every man should have themselves a model hot young girlfriend with a perfect slender style body, but I am suggesting that almost all men should. Naturally, some prefer the buxom bouncy ladies. Or like me, they're poly-hot-bodyists who like women in all shapes and sizes. But if you happen to see Josephine Skriver coming up in your Match.com profile searches, you could do worse. A lot worse. Enjoy.