Elsa Hosk Topless Nekkid Nymphet Like Dreams

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Elsa Hosk is perhaps my dreamiest of Swedish dreams these days. Which is saying a lot considering the category of Scandinavian blonde hotties is deep and complex and altogether its own category within the sextastic. But after catching Elsa on the beach crawling about quite topless for a photoshoot, she jumped several rungs on my list. Now, seeing the Nordic beauty quite without clothes in this Adam Franzino shoot, it’s time to double down on unrequited lust.

There’s something about nekkid girls with perfect bodies standing by bodies of water that will forever be in the allure hall of fame. Maybe it’s the ode to nature, maybe it’s the ode to wet spectacular funbags, maybe it’s both and other things too complicated for me to try and spell, let alone feel. The point is, it’s a truly wondrous thing. In the movie Wild, Reese goes on that thousand mile hike to find herself. I’d go about one-quarter mile then stop when I was Elsa Hosk topless. Found myself indeed. Enjoy.

Photo Credit:Adam Franzino

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Thank God It’s Funbags! Leanna Decker Removes Her Bikini Top and Scrambles Her Own Damn Yummy Yolks

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Some people have written me to say it’s not amusing when I tell you guys I’d shank you in the showers for a chance at nookie time with so-and-so hottie. You have to realize when I say that, it’s really just a joke. I mean, except for Leanna Decker, naturally. I would crack a RC Cola bottle and take out your spleen if I could but have ten minutes to nibble the spleen area on this blessedly unreal ginger hottie. Please don’t blame me for following my feelings.

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Leanna is an absolutely winner in the Playboy digital circles where she is routinely handed awards, trophies, and many many phone numbers. I’m sure she tears most of them up. Leanna, memorize mine. It’s 1-800-HORNDOG. I always answer before the first ring is even finished. Not that I’d want you to stop massaging your own epic funbags just to give me a ring, so maybe go handsfree with the blue tooth. We can talk dirty. I typically go five hours before taking a pause. Experience. Let’s do this, my ginger busty lust crush. Thank God It’s Funbags.

Photo Credit: PlayboyPlus

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READER FINDS: Anastasia Ashley Panties Booty, Abbey Lee Kershaw Nekkid, Kim Cattrall Topless, and Much Much More…

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It’s time. The circus is in town. The flesh-filled hottie circus run by each of you every Friday here on Egotastic! with your much appreciated Reader Finds. I can’t say it’s the finest in traditions, but I can say it’s my favorite. The communal coming together of prurient minds from around the globe to focus on the common denominator of sweet sweet ta-ta’s on very hot ladies. I think I might cry. I promised myself I wouldn’t, but, here come those salty demons.

This week’s Reader Finds includes a sweltering hot look at the panties clad bottom of surfer girl Anastasia Ashley (thank you kindly EgoReader ‘Rona’), Kim Cattrall topless in some throwback skinematics (blessings from ‘Stephen R.’), an even throwier hot throwback to 70′s screen siren Susan George (classic wowzers from the mind of ‘Kenneth’), Disney starlet Peyton List in a Day in the Life shoot (farm system future hottie via ‘Dannny’), eternally nymphy Monica Bellucci topless (she of the kindly faptastics, thanks ‘Owen’), Melissa Reeves quite almost nekkid in some portraits (quality time photography handed off by ‘David P.’), Kelly Brook bikini in the pool caps from Instagram (busty hot Britty bikini peeks from ‘Elise’), another view of Katherine Waterston full frontal in Inherent Vice (just epic onscreen nekkidness via ‘T.K.’), Kari Byron early Mythbusters cleavy scientist shots from FHM (oh, to be nestled in those bad girls, kudos to ‘Aaron W.’), Candice Swanepoel in bikinis for new SELF magazine (Our Lady of Swanepoel visuals dropped off by ‘Hammond’), and last, but not even close to least, Abbey Lee Kershaw quite nekkid in nature (lovely bits of bare bodied goodness from ‘Samuel E.’). It’s a mouthful, two eyes full, and two to three hands at least. A bevy of beauties. Enjoy.

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Chelsea Schuchman Topless for All Your Sextastic Pool Reconditioning Needs

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If you happen to be a fan of model-actresses topless in reconditioned pools, well, then, you are one very specific fellow. But, also, today is your lucky day. Up and coming thespianic and all around hottie model Chelsea Schuchman got herself into worker bee mode in the basin of a pool being gunited. Why? I don’t know. Though I do follow the guiding principle that when you see a sextastic woman with her top off in a seemingly out of context place, never ask why. Just smile and pretend like it’s supposed to be happening.

Bless the good people at Purple magazine for following this same principle as well. In fact, I’d like to see more alluring celebrities topless in emptied pools and on construction job sites in general. Provided you’re wearing head protection. You always need proper safety gear. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Brad Elterman For Purple Magazine

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Anastasia Harris Topless Poolside Striptease Hints of Warmer Weather and Hotter Visuals

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It may be winter where you are, but here in Hollywood it’s 75 and sunny. It might actually be a special effect, I can never tell. The point is, why suffer snow fools gladly. Spend some time as Anastasia Harris drops some topless poolside knowledge on your chilled brain.

Anastasia is certainly in the category of hot British women I’d shank any one of you in the showers for extra conjugal time with. Even an extra minute around her luscious lady humps would be worth twenty years added on to my sentence. Let’s face it, without glorious funbags in our face, we’re all just prisoners of some sort. That was pretty deep. Anastasia, let’s take it even deeper. Damn you make me want to do stupid things. Let’s build up a long list of regrets, together. Enjoy
Photo Credit: Studio 66 TV

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Elsa Hosk Caught Topless on the Beach in Miami (Thong Bottoms, No Tops, Oh My)

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When you see these incredibly hot Victoria’s Secret models in covered topless shots with their arms over their blessed funbags or just laying in the sand or such, do you ever wonder how they got into those poses without showing off the good on the way to final position? That answer is, they don’t. They are topless on the set. Granted, they usually circle the girls with towels and a gaggle of female assistants to shield them from obvious view. But then there’s the all-seeing Egotastic! eye. Kind of like Sauron but much hornier.

Enter Swedish hot angel Elsa Hosk changing and posing on the beach in nothing but a thong bottom, her au natural nutty bits bare in the Miami beach sun. And that pose on all fours, dare I say, I’ve seen a glimpse of how I imagine heaven. Hot blonde girls in thongs crawling topless on the beach. It just has to be. I may never forget this day. I sure hope not. So damn hot. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

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Rosie Jones, Courtnie Quinlan, and Holly Peers Topless Hotness in Our Page 3 Peekaboo

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Now that Page 3 and it’s bevy of beauties is back, we feel obliged to peek into the locker room of changing bikini bottom only girls to see how things are going. It’s sort of my benevolent duty and quite possibly my only remaining superpower. Hence, an ogle at the super fine female forms that are Rosie Jones, Courtnie Quinlan, and Holly Peers, no longer in battle, for the moment, but more like sorority poolside perfection.

I do so love the Britty girls with bodacious ta-ta’s. Young brunettes who gives so much to so many for so little. Alas for them, great for us. They really do provide that bit of cheeky goodness a man needs before setting off to sea or just trying to get up off the couch after a particularly compelling episode of Murder She Wrote. Bless you bubbly English ladies and the tops you took off to get us here. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: The Sun Page 3

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