Oh, man, how I hate those What Happens Next clickbaits on the Internet. I’m never blown away. If you’re going to at least have a chance at blowing people’s minds with a simple click, why not give them something to see like, oh, a stella fine Asian glamour model doing naughty striptease fun things to a bedroom you may only find in your dreams. Consider yourself at least partially mind blown.
Ayaka Yuzuki is our latest fantasy girl from our travels to the Far East. If only it were the Near East. Like, really super near so you could feel her breath on your shoulder. C’mon, tectonic plates, work with me here. What Ayaka does in this boudoir pictorial, and to a little red chair, well, if you’re not a long time fan of ridiculously alluring Asian girls with no clothes on, consider yourself new fan. Converting souls one day at a time, that’s really my life’s calling. Enjoy.
Today seems to be shaping up rather nicely, with some alluring shapes that now includes the bare funbags of soon to be big time star Dakota Johnson frolicking topless through the shoreline water of Italy. While Dakota is known for some minor work and modeling and being Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s daughter, once 50 Shades of Grey comes out at Valentine’s expect her starring submissive role to rocket her to the top of the media awareness charts. And now you can say you’ve ogled her sweet tender funbags. Though I wouldn’t share that with your lady should you happen to be going to see this movie on Feb 14 of next year.
Short of perhaps making the sexy, my favorite backdrop for au natural ta-ta reveals might just be in and out of the waters of the topless beach. There’s just something magical when you add in the sun and the water and the happy beach fun time splashes. Dakota Johnson and her untouched by 90210 perfect peaches are certain to be circling your libido like a pinball tagging every bumper. Soak it in, remember this moment, and be happy you chose Egotastic over Forbes this morning. Enjoy.
I firmly, but tenderly believe that boobs can save the world. Funbags are designed for two explicit purposes. To engender mating and calm nerves. I don’t see what other types of medicines or cures we could ever need as a people. Sedate and calm and making many babies. That’s how I imagine Utopia, you know, provided I’m heavily involved in that reproductive process and primarily with girls as fine and as buxom bodacious as Jessica Davies, kind enough to provide peeks at her sweet blessed peaks from within arms lengths.
Selfies really have become a double edged sword. There are the constant and tired mugs of your friends on Facebook and Kris Jenner, then there are hallelujah for technology moments like Jessica flashing her own hooters. I suppose that is the nature of all inventions and innovations, they can be used for good or bad. Jessica, these are very very good. Enjoy.
See More Jessica Davies Topless Goodness »
Maybe it’s just me, but I dig hot young blonde trending models when they start prancing around the beach nekkid in some stylized mini-movie. They really need to make more of these kinds of short films by celebrity photographer Mariano Vivanco who captures the pure beauty of Irish-Belgian model Stella Maxwell in her various stages of dressed and undressed ingenue status. Monochromatic makes everything artistic; hot blessed funbags on a world caliber model makes everything that much better.
Stella Maxwell has a very bright future indeed. Her willingness, nay, excitement, to participate in flesh-filled dreamscapes of the digital kind make my mouth water with anticipation. Maybe that’s not my mouth. Somebody lay down the plastic sheets, the boiler is about to go. Oh, Stella. Stella! Just so damn alluring. Enjoy.
See the Uncensored La Playita Video »
Lara Stone don’t need no Photoshop to look her most exquisitely alluring. The Dutch supermodel had a baby not long ago and decided that since she’s so damn fine why not take a topless photoshoot of her own goodness with no re-touching of photos after the fact. This is a new line of pictorial genres of which I most approve. Sort of an anti-Kardashian anti-fashion magazine airbrushing statement by way of stellar bare funbags. How could I not approve?
Appearing in System magazine, Lara Stone does benefit from some genetically superior gifts that do allow her to make such bold visual statements without concerns of being anything but passion radiant. Oh, that luscious even more curvaceous MILFtastic body on this Dutch treat. I think it’s a grand idea that the entire roster of the world’s best looking women remove their clothes and support this un-Photoshopped movement. I volunteer to take the pictures. Or just charcoal sketches if I have to peep through a window as usual. Enjoy.
See More Lara Stone Topless Delights »
We just met her on Monday in the Boob Tube Roundup, but Dutch blonde hottie Ancilla Tilia made quite an impression on many of you, so how could I not end the week by sharing her fully faptastic photos from her sole pictorial with Playboy. Just one wicked sextastic young blonde lady in glasses and no top behind the wheel of her car. Maybe wooden shoes, I didn’t really notice.
Hotties Like Ancilla Topless and Playing Around on Playboy.TV Free For One Week Trial!
It’s pictorials like these that remind me just how powerful are the lady loving dreams rattling around the male libido. Sure, the entire world of women doesn’t look quite as good perhaps as Ancilla whilst buck nekkid behind the steering wheel, but the raw power contained in the female lady goodness is something we men are loathe to admit has complete control over any of our perceived defenses. We are but your humble servants, though at times you fail to recognize your power. Damn, I might have given away some trade secrets. Thank God It’s Funbags!
The apex of the week has been achieved. If apex means end, I can never remember. Here were are on a Friday. The tech team began drinking here at Egotastic! on Wednesday just to get a head start. One beer between them and their pretty much snookered for 72 hours. Their pale skinny bodies are uniquely unable to process alcohol. As for the rest of us here in the penthouse basement suite, we don’t touch a drop of the good stuff until we’ve carefully reviewed all the goodies in the goody bag known as Reader Finds. And this week’s bag has some goodies alright.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Rihanna greasy boobtastic in Esquire behind the scenes (thank you to EgoReader ‘Justin B’), Lily Allen funbags slipping out on British TV (kudos to ‘Marcus” for this treasure), Erin O’Brien ginger topped Jailbait (wow, luscious lovely stills from ‘Ben B.’), Rosanna Arquette topless in her hey day (hey days via ‘Kenny’), Sharon Hinnendael in not one, but two getting jiggy with topless girls fun parts (visual treats courtesy of ‘Eileen’), sisterly topless Lynette and Leigh Harris classic skinematic lust (dropped off kindly by ‘Sir Jest’), Virginia Madsen an unsung hero of the topless thespianics (delivered to the doorstep by ‘Francis’), Anne Hathaway quite topless in her early work (luscious Hathaways from the mind of ‘Devon’), Scarlett Johansson cleavage in Lucy (delightful melons thanks to ‘O-Bomb’), Gillian Jacobs topless perfect ta-ta’s (oh, what a visual day with help from ‘Ben O’), Mimi Rogers and her epic epic bare funbags (first wife of Cruise treats a la ‘Owen D.’), Marisa Tomei such underrated hottie bare tops (loves me some Tomei promoted by ‘Sullivan’), Elizabeth Olsen flashing her sweet teatly treats (the finest Olsen sister bare via ‘Steve H.’), Keira Knightly topless untouched in Interview magazine (submitted by so many of you god-fearing readers, thanks), Calvin Klein would be model Myla Delbasio nekkid modeling pics (she’s not “fat” Calvin, she’s perfect, much obliged to ‘David M.’), and last but not least, Gwendoline Christie statuesque and nekkid without her armor on (lovely addition by ‘Michael G.’). You can’t handle the tubes! Or can you? Enjoy.
Check Out All The Uncensored Reader Finds »