Taco Bell Will Give Canada Breakfast When They Take Back Bieber

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bill-swift - April 1, 2014

Taco Bell president Mr. Brian Niccol has made it clear: in order for Canada to get the Taco Bell waffle taco they will have to take back Justin Bieber. Niccol took to Reddit's AMA section as part of the launch of their new diarrhea inducing breakfast menu. When one Canuck started whining that the new breakfast menu wasn't in Canada, Niccol said they would get it when they take back Justin Bieber. The deformed Muppet is originally from Canada though he's lived in the United States for the last few years. This has caused tension between our two nations. It would be like if Stalin left Russia in the 1930's and moved to suburban Atlanta. Yeah, I compared Bieber to Stalin. They are both responsible for crimes against humanity and having stupid hair.

Is the threat of not having Taco Bell's crappy breakfast enough for the Great White North to take back Bieber? Probably not. I for one think Canada is way too close. We need to ship him off to Timbuktu or some isolated Polynesian island where he won't bother anyone anymore. Well, except the people of Timbuktu and the monkeys on the island. Maybe just shoot him into space.

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