Taco Bell Delivers Now. AMERICA!

When I was younger, and had a stomach that could take Taco Bell, I used to eat there all the time. Then one day I caught a bad case of drastic gas and the squirts due to Ecoli and I swore off the stuff. But at least back then you had to leave the house to get the Taco Bell. Sure, we would drive the half a mile away to go there, but still. Now, Taco Bell has initiated a delivery service. Simply download the app, order whatever delicious treats you want, wait, and then gorge yourself in the privacy of your own home while you watch old reruns of ALF. Some might say this is a bad thing. Some are right.

Look, I'm not the bastion of health. I'm a chubby chubster and I have health problems because of it. That's why I know that if Taco Bell goes forward with this delivery service, we will all die of type 2 diabetes or heart attacks. The entire human race will be wiped out in a matter of months. Mark my words, we will go the way of the dinosaurs thanks to chimichangas.