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Spider-Man Arrested For Attempted Robbery

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bill-swift - September 24, 2013

Spider-Man was arrested in Pittsburgh for trying to rob a convenience store...ineffectually. No, Peter Parker hasn't given up the dead end world of being a freelance photojournalist yet. Jonathan Hewson is a moronic college student that was having a fun evening out dressed like Spider-Man. You know, like you do. For reasons that boggle the Spidey senses he decided to try and rob a convenience store. He ran in and demanded to know how much money the clerk had. The clerk pulled out a stun gun and Spidey ran beecause he had no weapon other than the chaffing caused by the costume. He was immediately arrested by Pittsburgh police. It's a sad testament to our times that superheroes, albeit fake idiotic ones, have to turn to crime.

The truth is that being a superhero doesn't really pay all that well. Think about it, most superheroes have day jobs. Largely in journalism. Peter Parker, Clark Kent, and Wonder Woman are all in print media, which is dying faster than Krypton's red sun. Batman is independently wealthy so he can afford to spend more of his time wearing tights and fighting crime. I think you will find more and more heroes turning to crime as the economy continues to suck. Say it ain't so, Spidey...say it ain't so.

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