‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ Trailer Will Murder Whatever Inner Child Still Survives Within You

Seeing Jim Carrey doing some of his patented Carreying on in this new trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog, I'm reminded of that old story about Sean Connery agreeing to star in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen after turning down both Lord of the Rings and The Matrix. He turned down both because he "didn't understand the scripts" before admitting to not understanding the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen script. He signed on to do the film anyway, afraid to turn down another gigantic blockbuster franchise in the making.

Jim Carrey seems to be doing the same here, desperate to attach himself to something that's got the potential to be a major blockbuster franchise and ultimately making the worst possible decision. Seriously, you can almost see the flop sweat on his brow during that whole verbal showdown with poor Neal McDonough.

Anyway, this just feels like a bunch of terrible ideas converging in one spot. The director's only other credit is a short film from 15 years ago titled "Gopher Broke," there are EIGHT credited writers on this, and the only star power beyond Carrey comes courtesy of James Marsden. The voice of Sonic is performed by Jean-Ralphio from Parks & Rec. Not exactly a cast stacked with what might be deemed "first choices."

I'm not joking when I say I'd rather sit through that Dora the Explorer movie. At least that's got Benicio Del Toro as the voice of Swiper. Speaking of which, do you remember the very short window of time when Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn, and Jim Carrey were going to play Moe, Larry, and Curly, respectively, in the Three Stooges movie? I want to live in the alternate universe where that happened.

Sonic the Hedgehog rolls into theaters on November 8.