TV & FILM
brian-mcgee - April 22, 2019
Just when you think you might have seen it all, along comes a movie built around a pun staring us all in the face. In the grand tradition of Snakes on a Plane and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, the new flick The VelociPastor is offering up exactly what the title promises. A priest is grief stricken over the death of his parents, travels to China, something something something, now he's a dinosaur.
But that's not where VelociPastor hangs its hat. It's not enough that he turns into a dinosaur, he must be convinced by a hooker—with a presumable heart of gold—to fight crime. And ninjas. Not kidding, it's all there in the trailer. While obviously a low budget affair, I love this trailer's whole aesthetic. They're clearly going for a nouveau grindhouse feel similar to the hugely underrated Hobo with a Shotgun.
This flick may also well have the greatest tagline in history... "Welcome to the Christ-aceous period." I mean, just when you think the pun in the title is the ace up its sleeve, this movie turns around and kicks you square in the nuts. So far the flick has only screened at festivals in The Netherlands and France, further proof that Europeans are far more cultured than we.
Keep your eyes peeled for The VelociPastor to show up somewhere stateside at some point.