Should You Be Worried That The New iPad3 Will Nuke Your Sperm?

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bill-swift - March 24, 2012

For those of you who may have missed out on the ever so interesting debate currently going on within the world of mobile device bloggers, let's talk about what has been dubbed by many people with way too much time of their hands as "Heatgate".

The driving force behind this debate is based on the fact that the iPad3 runs a little bit hotter than the iPad2, about 10 degrees more, according to reliable tests with thermal technology. Some people claim that men may be in danger of damaging their sperm with their mobile technology. The supposed danger is that your sperm will be rendered useless, and you can kiss your chances of having children goodbye.

No seriously, big name bloggers are saying it, not just the fringe weirdo PC fanboys.

So does the iPad3 run hotter? Yes, but it has twice the processing power and all of that power throws off heat. It is a perfectly normal effect of a high powered processor, and the retina display, living in a very small case. Heat will be produced by that combination. The question is, can it actually damage your body?

When I checked with the Mayo Clinic website, avoiding mobile devices, was not on their list of ways to keep your sperm happy and healthy. Apparently you have more to fear from the Big Mac, stress at work and carrying a few extra pounds then you do from an iPads processor. Of course they do recommend avoiding warm baths and direct heat, but all of this leads to one, blindingly simple question that quite frankly I am stunned to be the first to ask it.

What kind of a world class idiot leaves their iPad balancing on their testicles for long periods of time to begin with?

Its a handheld device, not a scrotal held device. It seems to me that if you do that then you're getting exactly what you deserve. Perhaps next you'd like to sign up to goalie a world cup game without a cup of you own, or maybe let your angry psycho ex go down there too?

We all know those things are going to end badly. When someone does them we laugh, and if the hype has any basis in reality the response should be the same. If you're dumb enough to leave something painfully warm on your balls (and we're talking about 116 degrees here - so you will notice it) then you get what you deserve.

Beside, your sperm only live about a week anyway. You can always make more and since no actual incidences of injury (or even an iPad3 being too warm to hold) have actually been reported yet, I would say this one is more hype that fact. If you are still worried about the damage remember than an application of common sense will help to keep you safe in most situations in life.

Article by Katie Gatto

Tagged in: gear , ipad ,

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