Sextastic Gaming Shenanigans with Captain Condom and Wonder Vag in ‘Adventures in Sex City’

Because sex-centric and sexy are two wildly disparate concepts. As such, the disconcerting tale of a Luchador-esque wrestler named The Sperminator, endowed with penis-hands, is not the most arousing thing you'll see today (unless it is, you mad, mad bastard). Is it the most demented, though? Indubitably.

In the midst of the public-consciousness shitstorm accrued by the lofty likes of Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and Halo 4, you're surely lamenting, "wondrous as these digital behemoths are, where are all the lurid sex quiz simulators, replete with diseased sperm projectiles and crass double entendres, that we all crave so?" We empathize, friends. Everyone -everyone- with the most meager interest in the medium has been demanding an answer to this query. Furious internet inter-nerds have shat in envelopes and mailed them to Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony. Before we were beset by nationwide rioting, though, The Middlesex-London Health Unit answered our calls with the creation of Adventures in Sex City.

If you have the balls, hit the gallery for perv-tastic screenshots and details on the most horrendous, squirm-inducing flash game since I Like Horse Dicks. (Which doesn't exist. We fervently hope, nothing can be put past the internet).

Images provided by www.healthunit.com, we certainly cannot condone hitting this link and beholding this oddity firsthand.