Selena Gomez Cleavage to Make You Grow-mez!

Gallery Icon

brian-mcgee - October 24, 2017

Here's the most useless tidbit imaginable for you, my dear readers. Former Barney plaything Selena Gomez arrived for the 2017 InStyle Awards wearing a little black dress designed by, wait for it, Jacquemus! Until today, the only thing I knew Jacquemus from was the lyrics to that Iko Iko song... "Jaquemus feena ona lay, Jaquemus feena nay! Talkin' bout hey na, hey na, hey na, hey na, Eiko Eiko wah nay."

Nevermind all that, here's the song...


Now that we've gotten that out of our system, let's concentrate on what matters here. Selena Gomez's cleavage. It's like Polaris to a sailor at night. I look at cleavage after cleavage all gall durn day and it all starts to look the same. Then Selena Gomez comes along and is like, "Hey there sailor... looks like you could use a light to guide your ship by." And then "Come Sail Away" by Styx kicks in and she's all like, "Look at these titties, yo." And I think for a moment about how profound that statement is and how much it applies to my every day life. To paraphrase Oscar winning wordsmiths Three Six Mafia, it's hard out here for an associate editor. 

Photo Credit: Splash News