Science Brings Back Horrible Freak Frog. Great.

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bill-swift - March 22, 2013

Scientists have brought an extinct frog back to life. Great. Some sciency guys in Australia called The Lazarus Project have recreated the genome of a frog that went extinct back in 1983 along with disco and casual sex. The frog they picked was a terrifying freak of nature. The gastric-brooding frog incubated its shorties in their stomachs and gave birth through their mouths. Ew. I can see why we wouldn't want to lose that completely horrifying and disgusting creature from the planet. The scientists have been able to implant the cells in the egg of a similar frog species and are pretty sure they will soon be able to have the GBF puking up offspring in the near future.

I'm sorry, am I the only one who saw Jurassic Park? If there is one thing I know for certain is that bringing extinct lifeforms back to life leads to certain death. Sure, a tadpole spewing amphibian is a far cry from a velociraptor but it's only a matter of time. Next thing you know something is going to wrong with the experiment and a giant mutant version of the frog will burst out of its terrarium and start shooting killer ninja frogs out of its mouth like a water level boss in a Legend of Zelda game. I don't want to fight my way through death spawn spitting frogs. My life is complicated enough already.

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