Scarlett Johansson Should Be Mine

Here's Scarlett Johansson on the cover of the February issue of Harper's Bazaar magazine. She looks good. But really, when doesn't she? It's really pretty retarded that she's married now. Especially to Ryan Reynolds, cuz I like him, and he actually doesn't seem like an asshole, so it's not really fair to make fun of him. Still, I will call him a Douchebag, if for no other reason than he took Scarlett away from me, and that is essentially what Douchebags do. They take the hot girls away from me.