Santa, My Christmas Wish List Must Include Lindsey Pelas!

Clearly, my nineteen page wish list to Santa this year was perhaps a bit on the full side. Basically some video game equipment, a beer helmet as per usual, and page after page of the names of sextastic celebrities I'm dying to find under my metallic-mesh Yuletide table top tree like object. It's ever so hard to pare down such a list. You know I'm horrible at lists. In an age of listicles, I can't say this is career helpful.

Most undoubtedly on my wish list for Mr. Kringle is the sensationally alluring body of Lindsey Pelas. The well known social media hot bodied temptress and all around maker of men wanting to make babies is the perfect seasonal gift for the man who has everything, or in my particular case, nothing. Oh sure there's the family and friends and a roof over the head thing to be thankful for, but I'd trade that all in for fifteen minutes of slurping dripped egg nog off the knockers of this incredibly sextastic and bosom blessed hottie. Never assume you know what makes another man happy. That's why I put mine in writing. Dear Santa. Naughty, nice, are all in the eye of the beholder. You owe me! Enjoy.

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