Russell Brand Sucks At Paternity

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elliot-wolf - January 26, 2019

It’s times like these that make me wish Russell Brand and Katy Perry never broke up. They deserve each other. Because Russell just admitted to being a bad dad and Katy’s always been a bad entertainer. Together, they sound like the perfect punchline coming from one of Brand’s stand-up sets. Instead of Russell enjoying irrelevance happily ever after with his once lady Katy, he struggles to father two kids with his current lover who looks more horse than human. He even believes that his incompetence as a parent is a compliment to the only other person being held legally responsible for the well-being of their offspring. More and more every day this guy is looking like the original Pete Davidson. The first lukewarm professional funnyman that got lucky and landed himself a pop star.

It seems Russell Brand is the type of man to see his fatherly ineptitude not just as adowable, but also as a chivalrous compliment to his wife. In an interview with The Sunday Times Magazine, the comedian admitted that he had never spent a full day in sole custody of his two children. That’s because his wife is just so good at it, you see, and he is... not.

“She wouldn’t go away for 24 hours,” he said of his wife in the interview, according to the Independent. “She respects and cares for [the children’s] safety too much.” Brand said he is “not so good on the nappies and making sure that they eat food.”

He tried it at least once, though! Of looking after his older daughter Mabel, he said, “In no time at all we’re in a coffee shop, she’s just got a nappy on, she’s covered in stuff because I’m not willing to fight any of the battles.” He feels particularly “inept” taking care of his six-month-old daughter, because crying.

Anyone that chose Brand to be their baby daddy deserves whatever was most likely to come of it. Half of the time, when he was on TV, I had a hard time deciphering whether I was watching a Comedy Central Stand-Up special or a Geico caveman commercial. He isn’t a good comedian, didn’t marry a decent looking woman, and he isn’t a great dad. It’s like he was a male Cinderella who stayed out past midnight and didn’t give a shit that his expensive clothes turned back into rags and that the Mercedes G-Wagon he rode to Hollywood in is now a pathetic pumpkin again.

Photo Credit: Ex-wife Katy Perry from Getty Images  / MEGA / Instagram 

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