Rockstar’s Cheater Pool is the Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind

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bill-swift - July 12, 2012

Think that title is a little over exaggerated? Think again, my friends.

Video game developer 'Rockstar' has been talking about changing the way we play multiplayer in games with  Max Payne 3. Well, the time has finally come and Max Payne 3's 'Cheater Pool' is now alive and kicking...cheaters in the ass.

We've all been there at some point in our lives; you're playing a game and decide that maybe you'd like to take your gaming experience and kick it up a we cheated. It's okay, the first step is coming to terms with it. Personally, I've cheated in online multiplayer before. Yes, even the best of us can truly fall from grace. It was that Halo 'pistols act as rocket launchers' thing that was pretty popular at the time. The difference between myself and the real cheaters is that it got old real fast for me and I gave it up after trying it once.

In all seriousness, cheaters are super dicks and they're never fun to play with. No one is enjoying themselves and in ranked matches people are actually losing their hard earned progress because someone is faster than everyone else or has some ultimate doomsday weapon that they achieved through cheating.

Rockstar has decided enough is enough and hit the issue hard in their newest title 'May Payne 3'. The 'Cheater Pool' is now active and is quickly filling with all matter of virtual scum of the Earth. Resembling an online prison of sorts, the Cheater Pool is where players are confined to in online play. Cheaters will only be able to play and communicate with other cheaters. Hopefully this will make them realize how depressing it is playing with their own kind.

Starting today, anyone we've found using hacked saves, modded games, or other exploits has officially been cordoned off in a dedicated cheater pool, confined to wallow with other unscrupulous reprobates. -Rockstar

It's the best idea I've ever heard of. Like the real world, those who break the rules are not banned for life but simply quarantined into their own zone so the rest of us can enjoy the full online experience, sans cheating. Of course, if you manage to achieve your parole from the Cheater Pool, you'll be allowed back into the rest of the online multiplayer world. Break the rules again, and you're banned for life. Suck it!

Sentenced to the Cheater Pool? Check out Rockstar's FAQ page for all you'll need to know to survive your time in prison. Its got a lot of useful information such as the fact that anything from full on cheating to overuse of foul language can get you behind bars. It doesn't say it on there, but it's probably a good idea to keep your soap on a rope as well...

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