chris-littlechild - June 6, 2012
A vintage oddity for your delectation. Quantum Conundrum is a first-person puzzle/action release from Airtight games. It introduces us to a young boy left for a day with his uncle, Professor Quadrangle. This old bastard has invented the Interdimensional Shift device, which enables the wearer to manipulate the physical environment to their own diabolical ends.
(Much like God himself. You know the Almighty Bearded One performs such unscrupulous antics all day; sending birds flying into power-lines and making loud noises so weasels shit themselves and such, just to savour the schadenfreude. He can't have the most beleaguered existence, after all. It mostly involves ogling every women's locker room on this astral body of ours with gleeful abandon. "I AM GOD!" he booms sporadically. "I could crush you to a puny bleeding meat-mound on the dirty, dirty ground on the most fleeting of whims. So SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS. Don't make me bust out my IT'S YOU hand from those old lottery ads. Trust me when I say, I'm not pernickety about a little orifice-poking with that thing. Remember that cavity search you had at the airport that time? That shall be nothing on this. Nothing.")
With the device in hand (presumably your carer was otherwise occupied laughing with demented gusto in a empty room and constructing malevolent world dominion machinations) you advance across the environment, solving puzzles and eradicating obstacles that bar your egress. The 'fluffy dimension,' where objects are but a tenth of their original weight, is now implanted in my mind like a haunting refrain. I'm completely unperturbed, as the ghastly pink hue that accompanies it provides a fine reminiscence to my old burlesque days. Alas, I can scarcely squeeze my fat ass into that tutu now.
Visit airtightgames for more on Quantum Conundrum, due for release later in June.