We couldn’t end a snarky look at Canadian-developed video games without busting out this terrible little slice of shit again. Cel Damage was a 2001 multi-format release from Pseudo Interactive, of Ontario. It was a cartoon racer that took the unusual route of ensuring that nothing that even remotely qualified as ‘racing’ actually featured. In lieu of that, we were treated to piss-poor arena combat in cars. The whole thing resembles an Itchy and Scratchy episode, minus the blood leaking gore and entertainment value. You know how it is: ‘Zany’ personalities with ‘no-nonsense attitudes’ drive ‘outrageous’ vehicles and attempt to destroy each other using ‘crazy’ power-ups. The controls, the broken-ness, the repetitive nature of it all, the desperation to amuse, everything about Cel Damage will make your soul cry a little.
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