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Frightening Festive Facts 3« Back to Story
While purportedly dwelling at the North Pole, accompanied only by a remarkable quantity of elf slaves (whose foreskins are nailed to their chairs until the year’s gift quota is complete. Even the females, that’s the kind of assholery we’re dealing with here from the bearded one), Santa became an official Canadian citizen in 2008. Minister Jason Kenney proclaimed in an official statement, "The Government of Canada wishes Santa the very best in his Christmas Eve duties and wants to let him know that, as a Canadian citizen, he has the automatic right to re-enter Canada once his trip around the world is complete."