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Frightening Festive Facts 1« Back to Story
We’ll begin with a fact that IS INDEED A FACT (fear not, gentlemen, you’ll learn very little). Across the world, the youthful Christmas Eve tradition for leaving treats for the bearded bastard differs significantly. U.S children may proffer milk and cookies, messages and suchlike (to wit: ‘that tricycle you gave me last year? That was balls, that was. Get your shit together, old dude, lest I cut you a new ass Ho Ho-hole.’ -Little Jimmy, aged 4 1/2). In Ireland, amusingly, Guinness is a more apt offering. Ergo, Boxing Day for Santa usually consists of drunken alley-vomiting, as pictured here.