Gaming’s Whacked-Out Week: January 4
Huzzah for the enterprising efforts of the interwebs-dwelling virtual oglers! We’d venture that you’re all familiar with the old adage which maintains: IF IT EXISTS, THERE IS PORN OF IT ON THE INTERNET. Sexy-sex with sex on, horse genitals being thrust where horse genitals don’t belong, nothing is sacred. As such, there must be an array of unscrupulous bastards out there, the purveyors of all these smutty shenanigans. Presumably, they’ll have one of those shit-tacular half-a-mustaches. One such dude was surely responsible for this week’s newly-unleashed mod for The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, which constitutes... making your character sweaty. As Kotaku reports, the creator elucidates his breakthrough thuswise: “Sporty Sexy Sweat is an specular texture mod which will enable sweaty wet body for your favorite female character. Your character will have a sexy glistening wet skin which will enhance the realism, sexiness and all the fine details of the skin.” In...deed. While we can condone a little surreptitious leering at the jiggly gym girl on the adjacent treadmill, this is surely a foray too far into ‘alerting the appropriate authorities’ territory. So devour this fine lady WITH YOUR EYEBALLS instead.