Gaming’s Whacked-Out Week: January 18

The impending (April 23) Dead Island: Riptide is going to be a veritable gore-arama. You don’t have to be an aficionado of the first title, after all, to note the title: Dead Island. This is not ‘Boy George’s Flamboyant Neon Party Island, Where Oompa Loompas and the Members of the Village People Cavort With No Pants On.’ Hell no. Who could have fit THAT title on the front of the case? No bastard, that’s who. As such, zombie-infused survival horror shenanigans are at the fore once more. Publisher Deep Silver seems to have taken their 18-certificate, shock-inducing wiener waving a stage too far, though. The intended Zombie Bait Edition was to include an horrific hand-painted figurine of... a torso. Bonus points were accrued for its bosomy nature and Union Jack bikini. They were, lamentably, immediately deducted upon adding the bloodstained horror/lack of head, arms and legs. As Grandpa Egotastic would so sagely remind us in our youth, “Great tits are one thing, but always be sure a woman also has a fine sense of humor, a caring disposition and SOME GODDAMN LIMBS.” The randy old bastard knew his shit. Deep Silver took to Twitter to address this contentious proposal, as Kotaku reports: ‘a decision was made to include a gruesome statue of a zombie torso, which was cut up like many of our fans had done to the undead enemies in the original Dead Island... we sincerely regret this choice.’ As you’ll see at the link, this abomination is the kind of thing Hannibal Lecter would display in his apartment, right beside the collection of human eyelids that he keeps in a dish. The image opposite, then, is the best of both worlds: all the beach-iness of Riptide's setting, all the boobitude, none of the ghastly.

Related to: