A mocktacular, morally dubious and arousing revelation from Team Ninja this week. The fabricators of fighting franchise Dead or Alive and the voluptuous vixens therein spoke to PSU regarding the much-vaunted ‘jiggliness’ of the games. Kotaku reports that producer Yosuke Hayashi alleged that the team for the impending Dead or Alive 5 ‘went "hands on" with partners and other studio staff to get the game's breast physics "right"’. Preposterous implications abound! We’d venture that perhaps a ‘Bring your partner to work (and fondle their norks) day’ was announced for this imperative research. The involvement of studio staff exacerbates this oddity. Was Fat Linda, the woman in the canteen with boobs like two immense buckets of water filled with angry piranhas, invited to partake? We daresay she wasn’t. To curtail the piss-taking, it would undoubtedly be refreshing to behold the series getting breast physics right, as in erstwhile iterations they have presented a consistency akin to devouring a blancmange on the moon.