A Brief History of Lara Croft’s Formidable Boobage

Exhibit A: Lara Croft as GRADE A SEX-BISCUIT. A ubiquitous portrayal amongst hairy-palmed internet ‘artists' (although sans illicit acts with a polar bear or some such in this instance), she was the first to permeate the scantily-attired womenfolk archetype to an appreciative ogletastic audience. Core Design experienced an epiphany to this end, which the leader of the development team immortalized on a shit-stained scrap of toilet paper. It read thusly: ‘THRUST SOME DELECTABLE ‘MAMS IN A DUDE’S FACE, AND HE WILL NOT DISAPPROVE.’

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