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Paris Jackson Has Vague Conspiracies

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Lex Jurgen - January 25, 2017

The most positive thing you could muster about Michael Jackson's legacy is that, at best, he was a complicated man with a number of dark secrets. At worst, he makes Jared Fogle seem like a good babysitter option. For his surviving children, it's probably best they remember dad and their connection to him in vague generalities and incomplete thoughts. A detailed investigation would bear no solace.

Paris Jackson sat down for a revealing interview with Rolling Stone magazine which you have to take it on faith quoted her directly rather than merely making shit up. Jackson discusses her early teen years after dad passed as ones filled with drugs and drink and sex assault and suicide attempts, multiple attempts beyond the well publicized one at fifteen. She found particularly disturbing accusations and bullying about Michael Jackson not being her biological father:

"I consider myself black. My father would look me in the eyes and he'd point his finger at me and he'd be like, 'You're black. Be proud of your roots.' And I'd be like, 'OK, he's my dad, why would he lie to me?' So I just believe what he told me. 'Cause, to my knowledge, he's never lied to me."

Yeah, about that. Fuck it, you've been through enough. Jackson maintains her father was murdered, and that the Conrad Murray propofol medications were part of a larger plot to snuff out her father. Paris Jackson admits her conspiracy theories sound pretty wild, but by stating that the likely assassins could be "a lot of people" she hopes people will see why it makes sense. Nobody asked her about all the molestation charges leveled against her dead dad, but presumably those were part of the grander conspiracy. Those conspiracy theories are amazing catch-all crutches.

Jackson says her comfort now comes in the form of modeling because she's always been self-conscious about her looks, which may or may not be because dad never visited her bedroom at night. Modeling makes her feel pretty again. Also, all other options involved real work or study. Power to Paris. If any rich girl deserves a few breaks it's a chick brought into the world via Michael Jackson weird ass chemistry experiment. If she's still pulling this nonsense at twenty-five, it's time to reassess.

Photo credit: Splash News 

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