Paris Hilton’s New Lips are Hot

I'm not joking when I say Paris Hilton is looking hotter than ever. That dazed, deer-in-the-headlights look, those ridiculously over-stuffed lips. So hot. So sexy. I don't care if she's covered in Herpes, I want her. I want Paris Hilton and her fat, stupid lips.

Oh wait, no I don't. The only way Paris Hilton's new lips would actually be sexy is if they were the result of a punch in the mouth, and not value-pack of collagen that she got on sale at Costco.

Paris also got into the wrong car after leaving Britney Spears' birthday party the other night, and the guy in the car tried to kiss her. Supposedly she freaked out and jumped out of the car, but he probably pushed her ass out. Ick.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News