Paris Hilton Really is Crap, It’s Official

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bill-swift - August 29, 2006

For all those of you whoe hate Paris Hilton, and that's a lot of you, I've got good news. Looks like Paris' album, the one that's so good it makes her cry (and is so bad it's makes us cry), is doing absolutely shit on the record charts. The much talked about album has sold rather poorly since it's release last week, and looks to do even worse as time goes on, reports Page Six. It's doing so badly, in fact, that her record label is planning on halting any further international promotion.

Paris Hilton's career as a pop star is fizzling as quickly as one of her blink-and-you'll-miss-it relationships.

In its first week out of the gate, Hilton's first CD is being widely seen as a certified flop. "Paris," which features the single "Stars Are Blind," sold a lackluster 75,000 copies in the United States - a pittance compared to Christina Aguilera's first-week sales of 320,000, according to Soundscan.

And projected sales for next week are said to be a measly 30,000, which is a larger than normal second week drop.

"Paris" is languishing at the bottom of Billboard's Hot 100 - so Hilton's label rushed out her second single, "Turn It Up," which isn't doing very well either.

"The international outlook is not much better for her," one industry source told Page Six. "The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can't back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can't sing live."

The source added that Hilton was advised a year ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but "obviously she didn't listen."

Honestly, I wasn't feeling great this morning, but now I'm just super. There's nothing like Paris Hilton's enormous failures to put a smile on your face. How she managed to even sell 75,000 copies of her album is beyond me, but she probably forced all the employees at her family's hotels to buy it, or they wouldn't get paid or something.

And let this be a lesson to the record companies. We don't want albums from Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan, or any of those other manufactured pop tarts. Leave the music to musicians, and you might actually sell some fucking records. Now if you want to get into the sex tape business, that's another story, but it's got nothing to do with music.

More pictures of Paris Hilton shopping, and being self-obsessed after the jump.

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