Paris Hilton Deserves the Nobel Prize

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bill-swift - July 13, 2006

I'm not sure which Nobel Prize they should give to Paris Hilton, but she definitely deserves one. I guess the Peace Prize is the most appropriate in this case, but I think she should get one completely new, just for her, because of the incredible thing she's done.

Why the Nobel Prize, you ask? Well, recently, Paris Hilton has done something monumental, so outstanding, that it will surely make the world a better place. According to The Sun, Paris Hilton is giving up sex, and becoming celibate for one year.

Paris told US chat show hosts Regis and Kelly: "I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person.

"Every time I have a boyfriend, I'm just so romantic, and I'll put all my energy into the guy, and I don't really pay attention to myself."

"One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up.

"Guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter. If they want you, then they will wait.

"You have to make them work for it. I think that's the only way you know if they really want you or just want to be able to brag that they've been with you."

But really, I was serious about the Nobel Prize. We should start an Internet campaign, or something. Just think about the fights (with Lindsay Lohan) which will be avoided, the diseases which will no longer spread, and the stupid gossip we won't have to read. That's the Peace Prize, Medicine Prize, and Literature Prize right there.

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