Natasha Belle and Her Au Natural Naughty Puppies Are Back in Leopard

 

I will someday have to hug the EgoReader who introduced us to Natasha Belle and all the happy tingly feelings that have come along for the ride. This glamorous glamour model has all the makings of a girl next door who makes you want to dig an underground tunnel with high-end periscope between your two homes so you can watch her eating her Apple Jacks in her PJs. That would be wrong of course, along with the thousand and one other wrong feelings I have surging through my mediocre sized brain now peering at Natasha stripping out of her leopard print lingerie.

It's incredible how one gloriously alluring woman with a faptastic pair of funbags can easily fell the strongest of the male gender. Or, you know, the doughy among us with lust in our hearts. The world has yet to develop a weapon as universally powerful as sextastic woman with outstanding knockers. I doubt they ever will. Enjoy.

Genevieve Morton Bikini Hot, Jessica Simpson Cleavetastic, Bella Thorne Bare Booty Flashing Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

I know there's been a lot of talk this week about the evils and mean-spiritedness and other less lovely things about social media. All probably true. But I try to keep my eye on the prize. The brass ring of celebrity sextastic and flesh that pervades social media specifically produced by the ladies themselves. I'm not sure if it entirely outweighs the bad, I just know it's really really good. Please don't anybody make it go away.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Kaili Thorne showing off her top, Sofia Vergara cleave hot mama, Bella Thorne showing off her bare bikini clad cheeks, Genevieve Morton and her ample bosom of bikini heaven, Jessica Simpson pushing up her ta's for slender goodness, Jennifer Lopez showing off backside, Candice Swanepoel showing off frontside, Hilary Duff showing off cleavy goodness, and much much more. You owe it to the start of another heaven sent NFL season to check out each and every one of these social media self-shared candids. You will not be sorry. Enjoy.

Michelle Lewin Has Bikini Asstastic Posing Down to One Sexy Science

I'm not sure exactly how many PSI that major league booty on Michelle Lewin can apply in terms of raw force, but I imagine it's enough to rip out each and every one of your vital organs if you cross it. At least you'll go out happy.

The Venezuelan body builder, model, and fitness trainer has certainly perfect the raised lateral thumper pose on Miami beach these past several months, turning arse into an actual work of engineering art that has necks cranking all along the seaboard. I can't imagine being comfortable in a swim suit around Michelle Lewin for very long. Race you to the cold showers, only let's walk so we don't draw embarrassing attention. Enjoy.

Holly Peers Puts Her Twin Bills Up Against Rhian Sugden In the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Two titans of the double-chest delights step into the ring today to contest for the title of this week's hottest mama jammas. Holly Peers, who I would without hesitation shank any of you in the prison shower for two minutes of conjugal time, takes on Rhian Sugden, who is the naturally naturalist (well, maybe not the hair) with a body that men fight wars over. This entire Battle of the Boobtastic seems so incredibly primeval. I love it.

Now, it's your turn to choose the winner and the not winner. The finer pair of funbags that we shall praise on high as if our lives depended on it. In your humblest of humble opinions, and your expert knowledge of all things chesty good, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Holly Peers vs. Rhian Sugden

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Lourdes Leon Black Bikini Smoking Hot Time in the South of France

Lourdes Leon surely has been putting on the big time celebrity daughter exhibition scene in Cannes and environs around the Riviera these past couple of weeks. A new bikini each day befitting her nubile teen form. We're not allowed to speak of it fully, although it does appear Lourdes is able to smoke a little doobie, which only looks like a wonderful time while hanging at the beach.

I'm not sure if Lourdes is going to go onto celebrity stardom herself. She does actively market and promote her mom's clothing lines and runs her own blog diary and some other social media enterprises. She certainly has the raw talent for the spotlight. Talents. I've said too much! Enjoy.

Chrissy Teigen Cleavetastic Swimsuit Madness for Esquire

Chrissy Teigen kind of owns the world at the moment. SI covers, music artist husband, drunk ball tossing at Dodgers games. And, now this. One wicked hot spread for Esquire magazine that features our belusted Eurasian model in all kinds of glowing boobtastic and alluring outdoor swimsuit poses.

I'm not sure if Chrissy's funbags are getting bigger or that's just a trick of the camera or wardrobe or my ever imagining mind, but they certainly have a hold of me like a seal being taken down by a Great White. I can even feel her teeth. Chrissy, you are peaking at just the right time. That time is now. Enjoy.

Cara Delevingne and Suki Waterhouse Bikini Aboard a Yacht in Ibiza

Yes, yes, everybody has a yacht but me. I know. Though it only really counts if yours has supermodels aboard, even young supermodels like Cara Delevingne who invited Suki Waterhouse to come hang out on her party boat for a couple of days of smoking cigarettes, suntanning, and whatever is girls do together when battened downing their hatches. Oh, yes, lesbionics!

I can't be sure about that last bit, though I am quite sure it's exactly what I'm imagining seeing these two Britty fashionistas strutting about the deck of their ship in little bikinis and lust on their faces. Oh, to be a fly on that cabin wall. I would will myself to live all three days. Lesbionics! Did I mention? Enjoy.