Kate Upton Shows Her Black Bra In A See-Through Top In NYC

Boobtacular superstar Kate Upton was showing off her black bra in a see-through shirt while in New York City. I’m assuming that the shirt is supposed to be transparent as it also has a bunch of rips in it. The result is a fairly clear view of those legendary funbags. Kate’s ta-tas should be in some kind of booby hall of fame. They are seriously in the top three best racks on the planet and I should know. I consider myself a connoisseur of the boobtastic arts. It’s literally my job to talk about boobs all day and I could wax rhapsodic about Kate’s chi-chis till dawn. But I will spare you my bad poetry. What I will say is that Kate should only wear shirts you can see through. That or bikinis or just underwear. Or nothing, whatever she prefers.

How was she in New York and no one told me? I would have gladly put on pants and schlepped into Manhattan if I got to ogle those lady melons bopping down the street.

 

Ariana Grande Looking Hot In London

Ariana Grande was looking seriously sexy after leaving a visit to BBC 1 radio in London. She was wearing a black crop top with a deep plunging neckline. There was cleave for all, my friends. Ariana has a nice pair of lady plums that I would personally like to check for ripeness, if you get my meaning. Her bare mid-riff was also exposed and it was a sight to see. She’s got a nice tight stomach with a lot of tone to it. It’s a delight. I think Ariana is seriously hot. She’s genuinely pretty in a girl next door kind of way. That is, if you live net door to a family of really good looking people.

They say that she’s a bit of a diva but if you look like that you can get away with those kinds of shenanigans. Lord knows I would gladly go get her a double mocha non-fat cappuccino whenever she wanted one.

 

Melissa Rummells Bikini Pimping That Hard Water in Malibu

I’ll say this for this non-existent mysterious bottled water company, they surely have introduced a solid dose of bikini hotness to the shores of Malibu, including today’s entry, Melissa Rummells, who is posing, preening, and purposefully teasing you with her sweet bikini body for the purposes of getting you all hot and bothered and in need of expensive bottled water. Fair enough.

I officially give Melissa the Bill Swift stamp of approval, which unlike traditional stamps I actually lick after applying to the intended destination. Melissa, if you see a creepy looking man in a postal uniform who doesn’t quite fit those quaint shorts, please, don’t run. I just want to say hello and invite you to spend the rest of your life modeling bikinis and lingerie for me in my kingdom slash walk-up studio apartment. I’d even buy your overpriced water keep everything kosher. Let’s discuss. Enjoy.

Rhian Sugden Challenges Holly Peers to a Plump Plums Showdown

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Talk about two tribes going to war. An epic Battle of the Boobtastic featuring just two all-time greats in the vaunted sport of funbag fighting. In one corner, the blessedly, nay, savagely blonde hottie Rhian Sugden and her absolutely perfect bit of au natural wonderments. And in the opposing corner, Holly Peers and her perfectly placed twin pastries of tastiness. This is the Ali-Frazier of our times, if Ali and Frazier had absolutely divine bodies you wanted to sneak away with to a mountain top cabin for one week of nonstop debauchery. And, maybe you did.

The verdict is now upon you, good men and women of Egotasticville. You must choose between hot door number one and hot door number two. In your expert opinion gleaned by thousands and thousands of hours viewing nekkid women online, in your opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Rhian Sugden vs. Holly Peers

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Check Out More Rhian and Holly Fun Topless Times »

Ariana Grande’s Bare Mid-riff And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Ariana Grande shows off some tight bare mid-riff and cleav. (Popoholic)

Xenia Deli in a bikini is the best thing you’ll see today. (Hollywood Tuna)

Anne Hathaway is all kinds of sexy in Harper’s Bazaar spread. (Drunken Stepfather)

Meanwhile, in Rita Ora‘s booty news…(The Superficial)

Christina Hendricks may be wearing a funny hat, but her funbags look awesome. (Dlisted)

Olympian Laure Manaudous shows off her bikini body. (COED)

The best thing about NHL ice girls is they’re always nippin’. (Busted Coverage)

Kate Upton Sheer Top and Blonde Hotness in the Big Apple

You do know I’ve admitted I walked right past Kate Upton on a trip to New York without recognizing her until it was too late. To this date, it’s one of my greatest life shames, and I do have so many. I really do think had I stopped to talk to her I would have been the guy in all her hacked photos having a good time with Kate instead of stupid Justin Verlander. I mean, if I had seen those photos, which I’m not saying because I’m too handsome for prison.

Kate Upton took to the streets of Manhattan in a sheer top, showing off the bra required to keep her pleasure puppies in check when not on bedroom selfies duty. Kate is just one exquisitely hot woman who allures in clothes or no clothes, though I pray and light candles constantly for more of the latter. Having seen Kate nekkid only heightens my respect for the woman in all things bodily art related. Also, yes, I would hire her to be my chief rocket scientist if I had a real job and she was a rocket scientist. I might make the lab smocks a little more sexy, but that’s about the only difference. Kate, I so will respect you in the morning. Call me. Let’s fondle each other until we get arrested, or I do. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Tame and Sweet and Ever Hot for Redbook

I’ll be the first to admit this is a rather innocent portrayal of the uber MILFtastic Jessica Alba for the ladies magazines. But I’ll be the second to insist that anything Alba gets my motors running, my boat set to sea, and me figuring out how to pull down the shades with just my teeth.

Shot by James White, these rather family oriented photos of the wildly attractive Jessica Alba are simply how I imagine her looking in our virtual Sundays together in the park while everyone stops and stares and quietly mumbles, what the hell is she doing with that guy and couldn’t she do better. That would make me so happy. Jessica, let’s do this. I’ll put on my seersucker suit. You come in a summer dress with your billions in clean baby diaper fortunes and we’ll join forces in a picnic of sex and sandwiches. I’m in, you? Enjoy.