Emily Ratajkowski Brings Her Faptastic Funbags to Italy

Our little Emily Ratajkowski has gotten all grow'd up and into the stellar social circles of Europe's film and art festivals and party scenes this summer. It's hard to see her leave the nest, of course, but fly this wicked hot boobtastic bird must if she is ever to reach her true potential. This is the toughest role of the gentleman ogler, pushing his hottest objects d' lust out to spread their own wings in places like Ischia, Italy where Emily's simple little top and jean shorts made her the subject of very much photographic attention.

Someday, I'd like to Emily and I to get together and discuss the good old days of two year ago when she was a relative unknown and her dreams and my desires were first originated. Ideally, we could do this while both completely nekkid, or just her if that enhances the romantic equation as it likely would. I always knew Emily's future was bright, from the very moment I saw her first smiling knowing how amazingly hot she photographed in the buff. I'm glad to be right at least once in a while. Enjoy.

Britney Spears Nipples Could Never Really Be Contained

This is one of those rare times when Britney Spears was out and about with an appropriate sort of undergarment and that did little to stop her ever-yearning nipples from making their break-through toward the warm Southern California sun. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, Britney's nips rarely need a reason to poke out of her tops and dresses and say howdy to the general public. She is a natural performer.

Britney, on behalf of the gentleman oglers who have been peering at your pert headlights for oh so many years, I'd like to thank you for making the lack of effort to keep those pointed nubs covered. That and your music have been a real treat, though mostly the nipples really. Enjoy.

Lizzy Caplan and Allison Janney Topless in Return of Masters of Sex Highlight the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)

 

Reunited and it feels so good. That is, reunited with the sight of Lizzy Caplan and her bare bazoonga in the return of Masters of Sex on Showtime for its second season. They threw in some unexpected Allison Janney topless making of the sexy scene just for a grand hello. Nice of them.

Joining Lizzy and Allison in the Boob Tube Roundup are Madeline Brewer getting milky in Netflix's Hemlock Grove, Lela Loren and Leslie Lopez twin-threating the ta-ta's in Power, and Stacy Haiduk showing off her glorious hiney in True Blood. It may be summer but cable is hardly taking a vacation from its preeminent responsibility to purvey fine funbags on the small screen. I heartily golf clap, if that's even possible. Enjoy.

Fanny Neguesha Bikini Tanned Jet-Skiing and Sun-Soaking Sextastic

If you happen to be Mario Balotelli, you're blessed in a variety of ways. Naturally, the only one that really matters is your ability to romance, as it were, crazy hot world class models with ridiculously fine bodies the likes of Fanny Neguesha who was showing off her stellar boobtastic and bikini tanned body in Miami over the weekend. Fanny was partaking in various water sports in the local waters, being that that whatever uniform she wore would not cover up her award winning racktastic.

Fanny reminds me that I meant to be a world-class soccer player at one time. I can't remember what happened to that dream though I do sort of remember an earnest talk from my AYSO coach asking me if perhaps I might be interested in a sport other than soccer. I'm pretty sure this was one of those Mozart and Salieri feuds where he was just intently jealous of my potential. Or it could be because I sucked so horrible. I'll prefer to keep the former fantasy alive. As I shall of taking nightly loofah baths with Fanny. Oh, man, that body is just a lethal weapon. If used properly. Enjoy.

Nicole Scherzinger Busty Bare-Midriff Hot Bodied Passion Inducement in London

Nicole Scherzinger has the absolutely perfect mix of exotic looks, hot body, and the willingness to show off in public that this world needs so much more of, if it is ever to meet my insatiable demands.

Nicole was on a simple promotional visit to ITV and decided to make the most of her incredible gifts in the visual wonderment department by wearing a tight, bare-midriff top, and a form fitting skirt that showed off her singer-dancer booty. I have to imagine before she leaves her house and steps outside she gives herself one last look in the mirror, with a nod to the mirror, 'Yes, this will give all the men some royal stiffees'. That's the true nature of a giver right there. One crazy hot and fine female formed giver. I'm pretty sure I could sculpt her a stature without need for a chisel. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Poking Hot in White for Poland’s Next Top Model Auditions

Joanna Krupa and her blonde hotness already won Poland, but she's goes back annually to serve as a judge in finding the next generation of young sweet looking Polish models. Quite benevolent of her. It really is the Lord's work.

Joanna looked rather stunning herself in a little white dress where she was either nipple poking or wearing one of those modern dresses where they design the nipple poking look right where her nipples would be just to confuse the heck out of gentleman oglers I suppose. In any case, her good looks were all Joanna's and right where they should be. Polish may not be one of the Romance languages, but I sure would like to hear Joanna whispering some sweet naughty pierogi recipes in my ear as our bodies remain intertwined for up to seven minutes of raw passion. Mmm, I do so love dumplings. Enjoy.

Magdalena Frackowiak Topless Glorious Goodness for Lui

 

Polish hotties, how do I love thee. Let me count the ways. I see two right off the bat, well, three in this delightful bit of nekkidness from the young and sextastic Magdalena Frackowiak in more photos run in this month's Lui Magazine. Lui is quickly become French for, yeah, we got her nekkid too. Which means it instantly becomes one of my favorite periodicals, just as Magdalena has fast become one of my favorite Euro-models on the rise to see flashing her stellar boobtastic.

It takes me time to fall in lust. Anywhere between eleven seconds and a lifetime. With Magdalena, it was somewhere in between, leaning toward the former. She really is a Polish treat. That body is killing me. Please make it not stop. Enjoy.