Joey Fisher Udderly Delicious Behind the Scenes of Her Topless Shoot

 

Joey Fisher really is starting to climb the charges of my busty brunette Britty glamour model charts. Yes, there's a chart. It's a 3-D bar chart and it sits on my table to remind me that I once took an Excel class and the only thing I've ever done with it is make charts about faptastic full funbags. Though I knew that going into the class.

Joey is featured in video stills from behind the scenes of her latest Nuts magazine photoshoot and baring all kinds of outrageously ripe melons dangling from her lovely lady body. Her dangle is downright perfect. If you're not dreaming of role playing Dairy Farmer Bob while peeking at Joey Fisher, you need to get your imagination maker fixed. It probably needs a reboot. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Leggy Strutting Lovely Latina Seductress With a Large Bag

I've really missed Eva Longoria. I'm not exactly sure where she's been of late, but we've seen little of the most eligible bachelorette of late, which makes me sad, as a child who has dropped his ice cream cone on the ground. For any time we lose sight of our eye candy, it's a melancholy time. Especially when that candy is sultry and Latina and single and hot and leggy and showing off her gams in a summer dress in Hollywood.

Oh, Eva, the things we would do together. Like expensive shopping trips where I'd suddenly forget my wallet and you'd have to pay for all the beautiful lingerie I was treating you too. We would have so much fun seeing just how passion inducing you could be with just your shapely calves running across my good touch bad touch regions. Eva, now that you're back in town, call me. Let's get a Starbucks and some organic lubricants. Enjoy.

Kelly Benismon Bikini Pictures Roll MILFily Along from Easter in Miami

Yes, the Real Housewives shows are an abomination of good taste and decent social behavior. Something like that. I don't watch them because if I want to see lots of plastic surgery faced ladies getting loaded and fighting, I can head over to the mall here in Beverly Hills on any given holiday and check out the catfights over parking spaces. I do on occasion. Nevertheless, there is the occasional shining star in the poop that is Bravo!, including Kelly Bensimon, who with the help of some amazing genes and some fine tuning work in NYC medical offices, continues to stoke the flames of passion as a New York Housewife when she heads down Miami Way to get her bikini on. In fact, Kelly treated us to a double bikini view weekend in South Florida...

...reminding us that multi-bikini vacations from women with stellar bodies is a gift that should never be forsaken. And we shall not forsake, just peruse and ogle the wares of the 45-year old mommy splashing in the water. We do so love alluring women and watersports. Enjoy.

Rihanna Gets Nipply and Other Fine Things to Ogle

Anastasia Stuffs It In
Anastasia Ashley really loves to dive into some meat Read More »
The Sexiest Bunny
Helen Flanagan makes for a bunny that we'd like to bounce Read More »
Kirsten Dunst Nekkid
She doesn't mind getting nekkid, and we don't mind either Read More »

Rihanna is really into nipple pasties now (The Superficial)

Kirsten Dunst doesn't mind getting nekkid (Starpulse)

Helen Flanagan makes for a sexy bunny (Hollywood Tuna)

Anastasia Ashley's thong bikini gets an A+ (Drunken Stepfather)

Victoria Justice skintastic in the desert (HuffPo)

This North Carolina babe gets my South Carolina all riled up (FOX)

Jennifer Blanc Biehn gets into her birthday suit (TMZ)

Candice Swanepoel in Princess Leia's bikini is a nerd dream come true (Popoholic)

Jessica Pare Sideboob, Eiza Gonzalez Witchy Bikini Hotness, and Josephine Gillan Topless Gingers Highlight the Boob Tube Roundup

 

Despite my increasing laziness to clip together a video for you hard reading audience members, this was actually a pretty inspiring Boob Tube Roundup weekend on the small screen in terms of sextastic skin. Some of it only rated PG-13, but we're collectively man enough to still use a little imagination when it comes to virtually undressing some ridiculously hot looking ladies of our future dreams.

This weeks' Boob Tube Roundup included Jessica Pare flashing sideboob in Mad Men (yes, this was last week's episode, but now I'm catching up), the desperately alluring Eiza Gonzalez and a few of her hot stripper friends in the new episode of Robert Rodriguez's From Dusk Till Dawn TV series, Josephine Gillan and her outrageously plump udders in Game of Thrones, and Nishi Munshi flashing full frontal funbags in Californication, because David Duchovny's life isn't blessed enough. Check them out in photo form and report back on your feelings. Just not to me, please. Tell a buddy. Enjoy.

Leighton Meester Looking Mighty Fine at Tribeca Film Festival

I'm not sure which movie Leighton Meester was supporting at the Tribeca Film Festival, I only know she looked like a million damn dollars on the red carpet. We don't get to see the former Gossip Girl starlet very often in public, I'm not sure why, but when she comes to play hard, she always looks amazing and passion inducing in a cute girl next door dressed up for the prom kind of way.

I know people say I used the term underrated hottie far too often, but when is the last time you saw Leighton on any of those fading magazine's top 100 lists of sextastic celebrities? That's right, you don't. But she's on my list of girls I'd shank any one of you in the shower for five minute of conjugal time in the prison cafeteria with the smell of chipped beef accentuating the aroma of our intense, but rapid making of the sexy gyrations. Oh, Leighton, I do appreciate you while others go for the more obvious girls. That ought to earn me some kind of peck on some kind of cheek. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Is Back in L.A. from Her Topless Mexican Adventures

Well, a bra peek will have to do at this point as the German supermodel and business woman extraordinaire returned from her multiply topless bikini vacation down Mexico way and while LAX does not permit nudity in the terminals, thankfully if you've been to LAX. Heidi Klum did manage to still get a little attention with a see-through sheer top. Not quite the full flashing of her motherly yams, but it was a subtle reminder that she happily removes her tops while 98% of her peers in Hollywood perish the thought.

Heidi Klum, I think I'm like nineteenth now on your wait list for next boyfriends during your midlife crisis of sorts. I'd prefer to be higher, but I can wait patiently if you can keep looking amazing and blonde and tall and wonderful. Let me know when I'm third to go or so so I can start oiling up. Like a an overgrown boy scout, I am always prepared. Enjoy.