Andrea Torres Wicked Hot Filipina Bikini Dreams in FHM

Mmm, a silent and vocal mmm both for Filipina hottie Andrea Torres, the model and actress who lights up FHM Phillippines this month with some bikini top shots and swimsuit poses that are downright upright if you happen to be in mad lust with sextastic minxy island girls. And I’m guessing you are.

One of my annual goals, New Year’s resolutions if you will, is to expand the global sweet lady finding radar of Egotastic! to find even more ridiculously fine women in nations not always on the common celebrity smoking hot list. I think I’ve done okay, but in 2015 I intend to do even better. As my sixth grade teacher Mr. Ropesburger pointed out to me, son, you’re getting C’s when I know if you apply yourself you could be a B-minus student. There is always room for improvement. If that means flying to Manila and launching a scout team to find every famous hot pinay within a radius of 500 miles, off I go. This is my quest. Obviously, it’ll have to be on a non-football weekend, but other than that, my bags are packed. Andrea Torres, you have inspired me thusly. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FHM Magazine

Irina Shayk Knows How To Wear Bikinis And Other Fine Things To Ogle


Irina Shayk can fill out a bikini like no other. (Hollywood Tuna)

Kylie Jenner wore a crop top to play Santa at a kid’s hospital. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lopez shows off her famous curves in Self Magazine. (Huffington Post)

Nicki Minaj‘s calendar features…wait for it…her booty. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jehane “Gigi” Paris has some big ‘ol funbags. (Popoholic)

Britney Spears is looking pretty hot in Women’s Health. (Dlisted)

Demi Lovato is like a hot intergalactic punk alien in Allure Magazine. (COED)

Summer St. Claire Removes Her Top and My World Goes to Happy Pieces


It’s always Summer somewhere. I should amend that to say, I’m always ogling Summer St. Claire somewhere, year round, because I happen to have a thing for hot brunettes with perfectly divine funbags who love to strip on camera. I know, it’s just me. What? You too? Well then you’re welcome to enter the Honeycomb Hideout of hotties I’ve made my life’s work.

Summer St. Claire reminds me that you don’t even need particularly good lighting if you have one stellar fine female form and some lingerie that doesn’t stay on for very long. Oh, those delicious passion inducing teats on Summer St. Claire. Just so motorboatable, even though that’s technically not a word though it clearly should be. She inspires my head to the left and the right in rapid fashion whilst making outboard engine sounds. No doubt. Summer, you’ve once against helped us conquer winter. Bless your entire body of work. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Summer St. Claire

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Megan Fox Camel Toe Flashes Signs of Life in Her Gym Tights

Aw, mom. You’re never too grown up to sport some camel toe in tights in public. I don’t care how much Megan Fox has retreated from the sextastic spotlight since marrying Brian Austin-Green Self-Employed (B.A.G.S.) and bearing him children. She will always be Foxy to me. And, she will always be into blessed stretch pants pulled up tight into her personal cubicle.

I certainly miss the old Megan Fox something awful. She had a run there like nobody’s business for several years. Then life’s circumstances caused her to change paths, which I can respect, but still not be very happy with. I’d like to think that with so many years of hotness left in the tank, Megan will return to us gentleman oglers one day in half shirts and short dresses and lingerie and less. Without hope, what do we have? Okay, well yes, tons of archival pictures. And the occasional camel toe in the Valley. So not completely bereft. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Michelle Lewin Thong Pictures Set Sail on a Pool Raft Into Your Dreams

If hot bodies could open doors, and they do in my abode, then Michelle Lewin could pretty much walk through any portal in the world just by flashing her thong laced asstastic. Damn that thumper on this fitness model and all-around Miami area body exhibitionist deserves some kind of medal. I’d pin it on her just to watch her crush it betwixt her powerful cheeks and form it into a perfectly smooth diamond.

Michelle avoided the beach crowd and took her bikini sextastic show to the local area pool where she set sail on her raft which just has to be called the S.S. Boner Inducer and put on a show for gentleman oglers within a forty block radius. It’s simply incredibly how tight and taught she keeps her curves. You throw in those 1980′s reflective sunglasses and you have the makings of a visual wonderment. Please, proceed with caution. Don’t chafe to badly before Christmas, especially if you work the mall santa swing shift. The children need you. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Ariana Grande Shakes Her Various Moneymakers as the Jingle Balls Roll On

I’m not even sure what city the Jingle Ball radio station tour landed in last night, I only know Ariana Grande made me want to live another day for the chance to be her boyfriend. On the down low naturally. I wouldn’t want my friends to know I was dating Ariana Grande what with her diva reputation. In turn, she might want to keep hush about dating a guy on the doughnut and beer diet who’s ‘fancy dinners’ take place at The Sizzler.

Hot 99.5, wherever that is, hosted Ariana in another one of her brilliantly catty and showy little stage costumes, preening around the stage and singing about something that was important to the computer that generated her song. I’m not sure why Mother Nature gave this minxy pop star a body built for play, but she clearly did. It would be somewhat disrespectful to deny that blessed Fate. Ariana, call me, I can whip up a inflatable pool worth of Jell-O in about forty-five minutes, thirty minutes maybe if I can contain my tears of joy. Those cat-ears and everything beneath them are absolutely killing me. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Cora Keegan Topless Tall and Lanky Nekkid Hot


If you’re like me and you happen to dig tall blonde American models who stand out for their lack of fear in posing nekkid for wicked hot shoots then fall in lust once again with Cora Keegan, the slender fair haired darling of the modeling world. Cora seems to understand that Mother Nature gave her a naturally hot body for a reason. And, no, that reason was not to wear double sweaters and baggy pants and pretend she’s not female form blessed. Share your talents with the world and make it a better place for all as Cora does in this revealing Chadwick Tyler photo shoot.

Every wish I’ve ever made with every candle blown out involves something close to all ridiculously sextastic women following Cora’s lead in liberating their bodies for the cameras, if not while covered in honey mustard and rolling around on my faux deer skin before my even more faux fireplace. Both would be wonderful. I think I once always wished for peace on earth, but that felt too amorphous so I voted for more hot nekkid women because that is the road to get there. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Chadwick Tyler

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