Maitland Ward See-Through Dress Top Is the Eye Opening Kind of Fashion

Maitland Ward is desperately trying to show you her impressive funbags without going over the line of outright red carpet knocker flashing. I am desperately trying to ogle her proud pair, which makes us what you might call, synergistic in our efforts. This isn't Maitland's first attempt at showing off her outstanding hooters, she's been on quite a run of late. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em, I always say, you know, to the hot girls with big Funions. You can't just say that to everyone.

Maitland was at some PR fashion event in Los Angeles last night showing people the real purpose of hot women's fashion, to show off the body. If you want to admire the clothes for their own sake, you can flip through hanger racks. Nay, this is about flesh filled fantasies and how best to induce them. And Maitland has a very solid idea here. I applaud her fashion sensibilities. Well, one hand is holding the binoculars, so sort of more of a snapping in admiration. You go, Maitland. Enjoy.

Natalie Gal Flaunts Her Body At The Pumpkin Patch

Redonkulously hot person Natalie Gal showed off her ripe gourds at the Pumpkin Patch in LA. She was there to pick up some pumpkins presumably to carve for the Halloween. She took the opportunity to do some provocative sexy posing for the cameras. She was wearing a tight pair of pants that looked like they were painted on and a crop top which displayed her lovely bare mid-riff for everyone's viewing pleasure. She then used a couple of pumpkins as standins for her funbags. Halloweentime truly is a magical time of year when women dress scantily clad and behave in goofy/sexy ways. Natalie makes my Great Pumpkin want to come to her patch, if you get my meaning.

Yes, I did just make a Peanuts sexual double entendre. I'm that good.

Kim Kardashian’s Booty In Cutoff Denim Shorts In LA

Kim Kardashian wore an outfit on a Taco Bell date with Kanye West that showed off all of her best assets. First, she was sporting a pair of cut-off shorts that accentuated that legendary booty. Seriously, in the history of booties going back to the beginning of time has there been a greater butt than that of Kim K? I think not. Then she wore a sweater that had its entire back missing to further show off her amazing curves. Of course, she also forgot to wear a bra and she was nipping fiercely through the sweater's front.

Usually, when I go to Taco Bell I am just wearing sweatpants and an old Legend of Zelda t-shirt. Leave it to Kim to make even a run for the border an opportunity to sexy it up. Kanye got a Beefarito with fire sauce and his hotty wife on the side.

I’m Quite Sure I’m in Lust With Lauren Cohan

Granted, the Walking Dead is not the best showcase for hotties, but Lauren Cohan makes even that grim series a little more happy with her supernatural levels of sextastic, perhaps on enhanced display in this Sharp Magazine pictorial. Wow. Double wow. I can't go to triple without age-gating this entire post.

Lauren is the girl next door, if you happen to live next door to a super fine girl. I live next door to a grumpy old man, but when he moves on, I'm going to recommend Lauren move into his place so she can by me girl next door. I bet she doesn't hang her boxers out to dry on a clothing line. Though if she did, I would steal hers. Lauren, you have mystified me once more. I reckon you're not hardly done. I look forward to even more mystification with that Walking Wanton body of yours. Enjoy.

Asian Hottie Aynur Goes Nekkid in the Woods for Hair Flinging Mammarial Monday

 

I'm going East Coast for my Mammarial Monday. I mean, East Coast of the Asian continent and glamour model Aynur. When you only have one name, you'd better earn it. And Aynur does just that with a sextastic frolic through the hundred acre woods of my fantasy mind where honey of a different sort is what I'm after. Much like our sextastic finds from the Orient of yester-weeks, Aynur exhibits a curvaceous bodacious Asian hottie form that just about sends me into the catatonic state of bliss that often find me buried alive by mistake many a weekend. I really do need to hold up a flag or sign or something.

On Mondays we like to kick off the boobtastic week with some precious puppies and seriously hot skin that let's us know it's okay to lust once again. Be troubled not your tender libido. Girls like Aynur are hear with their milky cookies. Enjoy.

Rita Ora Delivers Grade-A Cleavage to Radio One Teen Event

There are going to be silly teen music awards around the globe at any given time. And Rita Ora is going to do her damnedest to show up to as many as possible and win the red carpet with her her bodaciously exhibited bosom. She did a great job stealing many an award show here in the States with her diva funbags, now the Radio One Teen Music Awards in London town. And why not. She's not exactly dressing trashy, just showy, in a way that teens, especially teen boys, can absolutely admire. I say that as a fully grown man with the maturity level and dreams of a teenaged boy. Trust me, I still know how they think.

Rita Ora's music may not have caught my fancy to date, but her showy ways and hot body sure would encourage me to download her virtual self for a little holographic play time. Damn, when is technology going to get that Star Trek holo-deck good to go. I need to go camping with virtual Rita so we can be caught in a horrible rain storm and be forced to dry out our clothes over branches. I'd put out a ton of quarters and reserve that holodeck all afternoon. Rita, you are a stunner. Enjoy.

Fergie Flashing Her New Body and Old Dance Moves in L.A.

Looks like somebody has spent the past twelve months getting into super stellar shape. No, not me. Au contraire. I'm talking about Fergie. After a whirlwind couple of years non stop touring the world, then time off to get married and make a baby and do the new mommy thing, Fergie has been hitting the Pilates but good in preparation for a new music video shoot in Los Angeles. I'd say the results of her hard work paid off. As has our relatively less hard work of watching her pose and twist and dance in her short shorts and bare midriff top. I'm guessing right now I won't be listening to the music, but I feel confident I'll be watching the video many times.

Fergie was such a standby favorite for so many years it's almost weird to think we sort of forgot about her for the past couple of years. We've both been busy. Well, more her than us. I'm just glad she's back and in prime ogling condition. She was always a very pleasant hot body on the celebrity sextastic landscape. Welcome back, Fergie. Please proceed with the thumping and butt grinding music. Enjoy.