Nerd Alert! Code Red! Star Trek Starts Tonight! (VIDEO)

Opens Tonight in Geek-Filled Theaters Everywhere!

Yes, it does. Star Trek Into Darkness is finally here. All your Klingon-Human sexual fantasies are about to be satisfied. Okay, maybe not those so much. But Kirk, Spock. McCoy, the bad guy pretending he's not the future Khan. It's all there. And it looks pretty damn amazing. So, yeah, I will be among the geek boys seeing this movie in the next 24 hours. Resistance is futile.

We had the privilege of snagging some interviews with J.J. Abrams and the cast of Star Trek Into Darkness in London this past week. Not really a privilege since the Brits won't let me onto their shores until I renounce my claim to being Kate Middleton's baby daddy. Still, we snuck somebody else in. Take a look at some very brief snippets from our journalistic endeavor. Then, hire a dog sitter for your embarrassing Chow and head off to see Star Trek.

Don't be the last nerd in the world to fulfill his destiny!

Mellisa Clarke Pits Her Peaches Against Holly Peers in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Wow, this must be what those parents who have kids playing on opposing pro sports teams feel in those games where their offspring go head to head. Who to root for? You're going to have to turn your back on one of your favorites at some point, watch them lower the head into their hands, and still all the while take joy in the triumph of your winning progeny. Precisely why I intend to have athletically untalented children. I couldn't bear it.

But equally hard for me is a Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic between two of my absolutely all-time darlings. The alt-brunette supreme queen Mellisa Clarke, and Holly Peers, whose amazing funbags I feel like I've imagined fondling since before my balls dropped. I can not make a choice. And, luckily, I don't have to. That burden falls on you. So, as difficult as it is, I ask you, who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Mellisa Clarke vs. Holly Peers

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Emma Watson All Grown Up and Ready to She-Dazzle in W

Emma Watson sure did grow up fast. I feel like I've been watching her closely ever since, well, ever since it wasn't really socially correct to admit to such a following. But at some point over the past year or so she started doing all this grown up modeling and posing and styling and while it's clearly way too much clothing involved, it's really pretty damn hot.

Her latest foray into the grown up world of modeling features a highly done up Emma Watson in W magazine. Evoking all sorts of images of glamorous ladies of the past, not to mention a future fifteen minutes of fun I'd love to experience with Emma. Granted, ten of those minutes would be spent trying to undo her fancy frock, but five minutes is more than enough time to repeat the phrase 'Oh, Emma, I've wanted you too for so long.' Enjoy.

Miley Cyrus, Arianny Celeste, Kendra Wilkinson Highlight the Hotties at Maxim Hot 100 Party

I think I'm getting too old to complain anymore about these magazine lists of who's the hottest celebrity. So many flaws, so little time to discuss them all. It's an inevitably crooked venture when you first set about to tier the sextastic. And naming somebody The Hottest or The Most Beautiful, even if you weren't doing so for crass publicity reasons, it's a faulty process at best.

Nevertheless, Maxim still knows how to throw a party that gets some good looking women to attend. As they did last night for their Hot 100 List, including Miley Cyrus, the winner of said naming, UFC Ring Girl extraordinaire, Arianny Celeste, and former stripper turned stripper, Kendra Wilkinson, who put on her best face and body for the event celebrating good looks. Can't say I got my invitation, but someday when I've got a whippersnapper nipping at my heels, I'll probably not invite them to my events either. Everybody hates their future replacement. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Topless Artsy Hotness In Interview Magazine

 

We really love when we get to see Candice Swanepoel modeling outside her traditional Victoria's Secret work. Not that that's exactly the chump change of visuals. But it's always nice to see what happens to Candice in the hands and camera-direction of a slightly more mature Euro stylings, as these revealing topless photos of her from Interview magazine in Germany.

Now, we know Candice is not shy about her body or showing it off. And we know that we are not shy about leering at her body as she shows it off. It seems like we have a match. A tad bit stylized and artsy for our tastes, but Candice topless anything and the rest doesn't really matter much. Enjoy.

Jessica Lowndes Continues Her Red Carpet Cleavage Expertise

We don't really know what Jessica Lowndes is up to these days, but she sure does make a lot of red carpet appearances and she sure does know how to show off one killer boobtastic at pretty much each whistle stop. Or cat-calling stop. I mean, guys are going to notice when your bazoongas are pressed up under your chin. They're going to imagine those fine sweater kittens pressed up under their own chins.

It's all natural and glorious. As are Jessica's fully inflated pleasure crafts. Well, glorious at least. And now routinely on display. We couldn't be happier for ourselves. Thank you, Jessica. Enjoy.

Courtney Robertson Bikini Pictures for the Still Very Eligible Bachelorette Win

As you know, with a semi-functioning cerebral cortex still, I have no time for most reality television, so I've never had much time to watch who will fall in fake love each season on shows like The Bachelor. But I guess Courtney Robertson won the show by proving her fake love for The Bachelor so they could wait til the show was over to call off their fake engagement. A ruse is a ruse is a ruse, but that is the point of reality television. It's like buying a professional lady for the evening. At some point, the timer does run out and the compliments go away. So I'm told.

Regardless, we ourselves did fall in lust with Courtney Robertson for mostly just looking so damn good in a bikini, as she proved once again on the beach in L.A. showing off her taut bikini body for the cameras. She may never find true love through a staged television show. And that I suppose is truly sad. But she will find much love here on Egotastic! so long as she keeps that killer body. Enjoy.

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