Dakota Johnson See Through Shirt Preparing for Greatness

The film is already in the can. All Dakota Johnson can do now is wait for 50 Shades of Grey to expose her body and submissive bound character to greatness come Valentine’s Day. I’m not suggesting you go see the movie. Despite what your inner teen boy is telling you, taking your lady to a racy movie about BDSM is not going to put you on the happy end of a riding crop with her later that evening. This kind of thinking always backfires. Trust your Uncle Bill. Let her see it with her girlfriends and then just innocently start dressing like a school principal and leaving wooden paddles around the house. Far better.

But back to Dakota Johnson, leaving the gym, preparing to reach the next level of thespianic sextastic success. It must be sort of weird knowing what’s coming and then having to wait so long. Dakota, just know this. When the female viewers rip you for whatever reason, I’ll be here for you. I get you. And I’m now getting my leather restraints. Let’s do this. I love the smell of vulcanized rubber. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/INF

Candice Brook Is Ridiculously Hot And Other Fine Things To Ogle


Candice Brook makes me happy in my pants. (TMZ)

Hayley Hasselhoff is my kind of woman: curvaceous. (WWTDD)

Shantel Van Santen steams up the pages of Maxim with her bikini body. (Huffington Post)

Alessandra Ambrosio shows off her assets for Ocean Drive. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jessica Alba exercising almost makes me want to work out…almost. (Popoholic)

Claudia Romani in shorty shorts is a joy to behold. (The Superficial)

Telenovela star Ximena Duque is muy caliente. (COED)

Heidi Klum Launches Her Lingerie Line In Melbourne With Long Legs and Veteran Hotness

If you’re going to launch a lingerie line, you’re going to want to look pretty damn incredibly hot. Not a problem really for Heidi Klum, who went Down Under to launch the Aussie wing of her intimates line. She looked damn amazing. If you’d ever want to wear somebody’s underwear, you could do worse than this veteran hot model.

Heidi Klum is not only a member of the forty and faptastic club, she’s a VIP feature. It’s simply wunderbar how these genetically blessed models just seem to get more and more desirable with age. Also, bank accounts, but mostly looks, I try to keep my superficial priorities. I certainly know I’d buy up her entire bra and panties line if only she whispered the command in my ear. With just a hint of yelling right at the end to push me over the top. Heidi, do with me as you please. I won’t hardly peep. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/INF

See Heidi Klum in Her More Topless Awesome Form »

Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures Working Out, Working to Booty Perfection, I’m So Happy!

Every now and then I get this pain in my nethers and realize I haven’t seen uber-MILFtastic Jessica Alba in a bikini lately. Where are my well placed photo spies tracking her on vacation? But, no, coming up dry. Then, of all things, the ripe super hottie goes and posts crazy asstastic photos of her own hot bikini self, with the workout photos in stretch pants to show the effort. Is this heaven? It’s got to be a decent approximation.

My mind often goes numb for several minutes in the face of extreme visual intoxication. Ogling Jessica Alba in a little butt cheek baring bikini bottom qualifies as outright inebriation of the senses I do believe. I know I can’t drive. I might be able to make it to a private space and cry. Blessed days, my friends. Blessed days. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Check out the best of Jessica Alba skin on TV and film at Mr. Skin.

Alyssia McGoogan Topless Tight Booty Hiking Perfection

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I love it when a pair of sweet booty cheeks come together for fine female form bits of wonderments. Case in point, stellar alluring model Alyssia McGoogan and her stellar Scottish descended lady bits teamed up with famed sextastic girl photographer Attlio D’Agostino for one epic bit of lust inducement in P magazine. If the P stood for pound this bit of visuals into your libido forever and ever, I’d not be shocked. Though I’m likely wrong.

Whenever I meet a new crazy hot face and body so effortlessly creating happy feelings up and down my nervous system, I’m reminded once more that the sextastic is not a fixed pie, it’s an ever-growing domain of sheer happy feelings. Alyssia McGoogan, welcome to Egotastic!. Linger awhile, we’re making chili for the Super Bowl. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: P Magazine

See More Topless Model Goodness »

Adriana Lima Leads Squad of Hotties for V.S. Super Bowl Promo

The girls of Victoria’s Secret, the angels, are gearing up for their big commercial promo for the Super Bowl on Sunday. It’s unclear exactly whether the ad is target at the guys or the millions of women who also watch football especially on this one big game day of the year. Either way, I suspect the guys will be watching.

There’s something extra-credit sextastic about world class smoking hot girls in sports uniforms. Full football gear is not exactly my first choice in fine female form wardrobe, but I would work with it. It might get a little weird if they’re all padded up like real ballers, especially when helping them undress. But stay focused on their feminine beauty and what lay beneath and you won’t feel so uncomfortable removing their shoulder pads and jocks. The commercial should be special. I’ll watch it even as I am inevitably saddened by my certain Super Bowl betting loss. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

YouTube Sensation Karen Alloy Topless Bodacious Sextastic in Radiant Black and White

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Scoff all you want at YouTube celebrities, you old fogies, but it’s the new thing for a while now. We used to have TV stars, now we have YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook stars. And if you don’t think advertisers and marketers are going where the millennials are, you are not reading old copies of AdWeek on your fifth leg of a Southwest flight to Kansas City like I am. It’s already done happened. Busty young hot YouTube stars like Karen Alloy have 250,000 subscribers and they’re not looking back. Though, thankfully, they are looking topless.

Barbara Eden couldn’t show her belly button when she became a TV star in the 60′s. Welcome to media stars of the 10′s. Sweet comedic sensation Karen Alloy has taken off her top to show the digital world she’s more than just a goofy YouTube funny girl. She’s a YouTube funny girl you’d ditch the entirety of your wealth and lifelong buddies just to be with for five minutes in the broom closet playing find my tickle spot. It’s a black and white shoot by Jordan Volness, so we’re all good with our artistic accreditations. Go forth and ogle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Jordan Volness