Humpday Huzzah! Emma K in a French Maid Costume Topless in the Conservatory with Colonel Mustard

 

People throw around the word 'cliche' like it's a bad thing. But cliches often come about because they're simply timeless truisms. Like the French maid costume. Sure, it's not fresh, it's cliche. But it works. And it never stops working, not when it's being brought out of the closet once again by the crazy amazing body of Emma K for a striptease shoot in the boudoir. Yes, I am completely willing to suspend my disbelief for any amount of time and believe that Emma K is a maid I've brought over from Marseilles to clean all six hundred feet of my humble abode with a feather duster and a silky low cut asstastic revealing uniform. It could happen.

On Wednesday's, the hump of the work week, why not dream a little dream of hitting the big boobtastic time with the likes of Emma K. Dreams are free and really have yet to be topped by anything on pay cable, though it's often close. Emma K, you blessedly bosomed topless French maid, merci beaucoup. There will be a little something extra in your envelope this week. Huzzah!

Rachel Hilbert Candidly Flashes Her Bikini Body Behind the Scenes of a Victoria’s Secret Shoot

Wow, when Victoria's Secret sets about to reload its stable of sextastic young ladies in swimsuits and lingerie, it does so rather seriously and voluminously. Add to the clipboard of seemingly never-ending hotties the name of Rachel Hilbert, blonde, young, crazy hot bodied and pulling her thong out of her perfect tush on Miami Beach in an attempt to sell more bikinis for the industry leader.

Rachel reminds us once again that the sextastic is a nonstop river of goodness that flows continuously with new and fresh talent galore. She also reminds me that it's probably time to do a few crunches so she doesn't have to control her disappointed looks when I remove my tank top and ask her if she'd like to play pickle ball at my place. Rachel, you are welcome at my door any hour of the day, though I would prefer a time when all my neighbors can see you coming over. I need the gossip bump. Enjoy.

Cameron Diaz Hot In Marie Claire And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Cameron Diaz is all kinds of busty in Marie Claire Magazine. (Popoholic)

But let me tell you about Amber Rose's considerable booty. (Huffington Post)

Cameron Russell is sexy as F in this spread for Vogue Mexico. (Drunken Stepfather)

Thank Gawd for Joanna Krupa's funbags in these tiny swimsuits. (Hollywood Tuna)

Britney Spears looks sweaty and sexy coming from the gym. (The Superficial)

Do you want to see video of girls trying out for the LA King's Ice Girls? (COED)

MMA fighter Veronica Macedo is hot...but DO NOT mess with her. (Busted Coverage)

Carolina Cruz Sweet Sultry Lingerie Pimping for Colombian Glory

Veteran hot model and TV show hostess Carolina Cruz from down Colombia way never forgets her roots. Sextastic sultry lingerie modeling which propelled her into local legend hotness lore and turned her into one of my top Colombian must-see landmarks should you ever get a virtual passport to visit Sudamericana.

Showing off her 30-something en fuego lady wares for the Chamela lingerie, Carolina shows us that teen bopper girls are dandy, but ladies with a little naughty knowledge and experience are truly the candy of the flesh variety. Wow. If you look up sultry brunette in the dictionary, you might just find a picture of Carolina Cruz in bra and panties. If you look her up in the Ego dictionary, she'll probably be wearing even less. Enjoy.

Nadine Leopold Splish Splash Lip Slipping Bikini Hot Body Shoot in Maui (Hide the Children!)

Oh, that my full time job were to take photos of hot Austrian models splashing in bikinis in the shorelines of Hawaii. I mean, an actual paid job as opposed to just doing it as an unlicensed and trespassing amateur typically chased down by 5-0.  It would be easier. Plus I could actually pay my Netflix bill.

Nadine Leopold of hot European bikini bodily fame was in our 50th state practicing her preening and posing and leaping into the water moves to pimp some bikini line, whilst her outstanding female form, and intimate parts therein, yearned to be free of her two piece swimwear. Have lip will slip. It's going to happen. And when it happens to hot girls, all the better. I mean, shame on me for looking, but, yay on the down low. Nadine, you are a water nymph indeed. Enjoy.

Sara Malakul Lane Topless Nekkid Natural Boudoir Bosomy Hotness

 

You really just need to say Thai-English girl and I'm already onboard for whatever. A quick peek, a year long schooner trip around the globe. Sign me up. When that exotic beauty turns out to be Sara Malakul Lane of Sharktopus fame, well then, I'm erasing everybody else's name on the list and moving myself right to the top. She really is one bodaciously endowed brunette sextastic something.

Looking all kinds of bedroom eyes, and bedroom body, in this topless Nate Walton photoshoot, Sara shows why her destiny in Tinsel Town will be far greater than just kitschy Syfy flicks. Oh, no, this star is rising much much fast, despite, you know, being top heavy in the best way possible. Sara, don't take my catatonic leering the wrong way. It just means I care for you as a person. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Yams Up for Foundation Event

It's hard to imagine in my mini-sized brain that anybody actually puts together a red carpet fundraiser event and utters the words, 'We really need to land Courtney Stodden to make this a success'. Nevertheless, there she is, with her XL sized udders righteously barely contained in her revealing dress top at some charitable event that looked far too fancy for my crocs and ripped jeans formal wear. I will give this to Courtney, she creates visuals that will not be overlooked. Such is the power of the boobtastic by its very primal defnition.

Credit is due to Courtney's mom and public rep who books her for these fancy gigs. She wouldn't have made it past the Deacon at my school dances, not with her demon's handiwork hanging out so brazenly. Then again, I would have definitely asked her to dance. Something slow. Like a Hall & Oates ballad. There's being picky and then there's been a horny teen. Never the twain shall meet. Enjoy.