I’m pretty sure 50 Shades of Grey saw a 99% drop-off in box office after the first ginormous week. I guess the ladies who went to see it burnt themselves out a bit and the men are still hiding somewhere on a small island behind trees. But there’s no doubt there will be sequels along the lines of the book trilogy because that silly BDSM movie still made a mini-fortune. Such is the power of the three letter word that starts with an ‘s’ and ends with a ‘x’ and is not a music instrument though it can make blessed sounds.
This seemed like the right time to revisit our earlier sort of low resolution bits of handcuffed funbaggery stills from the rather racy film with a sharper look at Dakota Johnson in quite the breakout role. Go big or go home. At least, go nekkid and be spanked or go home. All the credit in the world to this second generation Hollywood star for taking on this role and the critiques that obviously come with. Blessings to your courage and slender topless bound body all in the same. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: “50 Shades Of Grey” Focus Features
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The lovely Nicole Murphy hit the beach in a tiny bikini that really showed off why Eddie Murphy married her back in the day. Namely, that she’s seriously hot. Not just hot for a woman in her forties, just hot period. Yes, she is the classic MILF but it is easy to see why. She’s in incredible shape. Just look at her stomach. There are a lot of 19 year olds that wish they had that stomach. And as far as her ta-tas go, gravity has yet to ruin the party. She’s also got a nice shapely butt and thigh combo which gets my pressure up. As the philosopher Sir-Mix-A-Lot once said, “My anaconda don’t want known unless she’s got buns, hun.”
Words to live by. How could Eddie have let this sexy lady slip through his fingers? I just don’t understand Eddie Murphy anymore. He used to be magnificent.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews
The lovely English flower Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is showing off the crown jewels in these racy lingerie pics. Rosie has been blowing up in the professional hot person scene and it’s easy to see why. Namely, the fact that she is effing gorgeous. She’s got a nice firm rack on her that I would personally like to spend some time with. She can sure fill up a bra, that’s for sure. She’s also got a dynamite thumper, which unfortunately we don’t get to see in these pictures. But take some time after you look at these pics and take a browse through many of the other posts we’ve done on Rosie. You won’t regret it.
She’s also hot because she speaks with a British accent which is hella sexy. Why should the girls be the only ones to find an English drawl hot?
Photo Credit: Marks & Spencer “Autograph”
Why not start off the week staring deep into the wonderment that is new, young, Victoria’s Secret model Taylor Hill, just kind of parading her asstastic around candidly in a bikini. It’s not just her job, apparently it’s also her personal time passion to exhibit one slender fine tight bottomed bikini bit of alluring madness. I must applaud her hobby. It beats my birdcage building.
Taylor is the rare All-American member of the Victoria’s Secret cavalcade of intense passion inducement by way of bikini and lingerie body. A nubile brunette with the look to drive millions of men to the brink of insanity, and probably not back. Sorry, the brink is the brink. But at least you’ll go with a smile. And a strong image of Taylor’s tight booty tattooed in your retinal cones. It could be worse. If she took off her bikini, it could be better. Lemons, lemonade. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews
Here’s something you don’t see everybody but when you do see it, you’re reminded how you secretly wished for it for what seems like forever. Dakota Fanning in an all grow’d up photoshoot, all kinds of noir and made up and dangerous in a motel room looking kind of grow’d up. Oh, happy days and dark nights.
Dakota Fanning isn’t a kid anymore, but she’s maintained something of an artistically clean rep during her transition into Egotastic-hood. She has so much stored sextastic, I wonder if sometime it might just blow. She needs these little minor quakes to prevent the entire shizzbang from blowing. I’d recommend more and more, and naughtier and naughtier of these kinds of shoots for here. She really is a stunner. When more clothes start coming off, well, let’s just say I’d invest heavily in emollients and lubricant manufacturing firms. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: VS Magazine
My good friend Mr. Skin is the kind of guy who would bail you out of jail without hesitation. Of course, he’d probably be the reason you were in the slammer in the first place, so there’s that for the balance sheet. But when he told me he wanted everybody on Egotastic to check out the ridiculously hot and topless winners of his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards, I said, mofo, show me the Roku. So he did.
CHECK OUT ALL THE WINNERS FROM THE 16th ANNUAL ANATOMY AWARDS
Check out all the topless smoking hot winners of this year’s Anatomy Awards and enter yourself to win a Roku 3. This prize ain’t for everybody, only the sexy people. Oh, and Egotastic! Readers. We are considered a big get now. We can probably get good tables at Marie Callender’. This is huge. Enjoy.
Check Out the Anatomy Award Winners »
Bianca Santos sexes it up in the pages of Maxim. (Popoholic)
Boobs are great but when are they better? When they bounce. (The Chive)
Salma Hayek does her O face for an ad. (WWTDD)
Kim Kardashian shows off her thong because why not? (TMZ)
Demi Lovato shares her tanning bikini body with us. (Drunken Stepfather)
Lindsay Hanock is topless for your ogling pleasure. (Hollywood Tuna)
Margot Robbie sure knows how to properly be sexy on Instagram. (COED)