Kendall Jenner Agua Bendita Bikini Booty Pimping All Tall and Taut and Wow

Kendall Jenner is blowing up. I don’t mean literally, like her sisters, in fact she’s the taller slender Kardashian by about a million genetic points. I mean career wise. She is everywhere now. Everywhere that pays a young woman to model their fashions. You can argue whether or not she’s an elite model in terms of her exhibitionist skills. You can’t argue that she’s one of the most famous women under 20 on this entire planet at the moment. That’s worth a few shekels.

Taking a peek at Kendall behind the scenes of her new shoot for Agua Bendita swimwear, you can see how Kendall has grown up something wicked fine even under the roof of her fiendish coven house. If you take a look back at her previous Agua Bendita shoots, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Then you’ll both cry and be happy at the same time, like your awkwardly sensitive host. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Agua Bendita Swimwear

Sophia Bush Cleavy Crop Top For Boobtastic Party Winning

I did not want to merely forget about how amazing Sophia Bush looked at the SAG Awards pre-party because I can’t shake it from my mind, I’m madly in lust with Sophia Bush, and I’d like to think she feels the same way about me. Two of those three things are likely true.

The magically underrated hotness and cleavy goodness of Sophia Bush absolutely stole the party dedicated to actors talking to other actors about how tough, but ever amazing, it is to be an actor. Baring your soul for the camera, that’s no easy task. Nor quite as productive from our perspective as baring your amazing funbags. Sophia, let’s get into some really exposing roles. I’ll bring the camera. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Getty

Jestina Lam Topless Busty Asian Lingerie Hotness (That’s All the Good Things)

Jestina Lam Topless In Lacy Lingerie For Volo Magazine
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You know that Volo magazine was only my favorite new sextastic hot ladies magazine of last year. How many thrills did they bring us of the visually naughty variety? The answer is many. Now the good and decent photo snapping folks at Volo are into 2015 and showing off the bare necessities of alluring Asian model Jestina Lam. Just your super fine sweetheart in white lingerie, then not white lingerie. Oh, those faptastic funbags. If this is my last breath, I take it gladly.

There are so many shapes and sizes and colors of incredibly passion inducing women in this world. That makes me so happy, but also reminds me that my work is never done. I’m kind of like a superhero, except rather lazy and my only known unnatural powers involve pretzels and this weird thing I can do with my right eye at parties. Nevertheless, it is my pleasure to bring beautiful bits of lovely like Jestina Lam to you. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Volo Magazine

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Vanessa Hudgens Flashes Stomach While Posing For Bongo

Vanessa Hudgens is the queen of the bare mid-riff. She, in my humble opinion, does it better than anyone else. She’s certainly had a lot of practice as I don’t believe she owns a complete shirt. All I know is that from the first time I saw Vanessa in that crappy High School Musical movie I was smitten with that abdomen. It’s seriously flawless. I want a cast iron bronze of her tummy to hang up on my wall of sexy art, that’s how perfect it is. It’s smooth and toned and totally free of blemish or stretch mark. How many ladies can say that? Not any I know. People like Vanessa live on a plane of existence where we uggos can only admire from afar.

I think I’m going to go watch that Spring Breakers movie because it features Vanessa in a bikini. What better way to start off a Thursday?

Photo Credit: Bongo

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Wears A Lacy Slip To Her Fragrance Launch “Rosie For Autograph”

The delectable crumpet known as Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was very naughty indeed when she sported a lacy slip to the launch of her new perfume “Rosie for Autograph”. I’ll admit a personal predilection for silky slips. I don’t know why but they are my favorite piece of old-timey underwear. Maybe it’s because they reveal just enough to be titillating, like Rosie’s impeccable funbags and her perfect legs, to tease without giving too much away. Rosie is one of my favorite professional hot people. I just think she’s hotter than an August noon. I don’t know what this perfume smells like but if it is somehow the bottled essence of Rosie I’m going to bathe in this crap.

She isn’t wearing a bra and I’m going to choose to believe she isn’t wearing anything downstairs either. That makes me happy in my pants.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews/Marks&Spencer

Lisa Opie White Bikini and Tight Body Combo Pleases Me and Neptune

Lisa Opie truly is the petite hottie gift that keeps on giving. Several days a week taking her yoga taut little minxy hot body out to the park or beach in a little bikini to share the results of her hard work. How many people do you know who are that giving to the general public? Exactly.

If I have one criticism of Lisa it’s that she has not returned a single one of my letter requesting to be her Aloe Vera boy. She’s got a hint of skin tone, but with that blazing South Florida sun and her proximity to the ocean reflection, I worry for her shoulders and back and coochie coo parts becoming damaged in any way. A good rub of the cactus juice never hurts and would most definitely help me feel better. Aloe is magic. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Clara Rosager And Corrie Lejuwaan Topless Houseboating, All the Kids Are Doing It

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Your first question might be, why are these two lovely models taking off their bikini tops on a houseboat. But I will not give you an answer. I will only stare at you knowingly trying to convey to you how if you question this bit of faptastic, it might just go away. I’m superstitious like that. Extremely so. I will kick you in the bobos as needed to maintain the sanctity of Clara Rosager and Corrie Lejuwaan in this sextacular pictorial for C-Heads magazine.

Nature has yet to invent any visual more inspiring than two hot young girls frolicking topless under the sun. That recent NASA picture of the universe kind of comes close, but clearly second best. Nay, it’s the innocence of youth merged with the prurient opposite of innocence of the gentleman ogler that makes this the material world’s finest hour. Houseboat on girls, just pretend we’re not even here and we’re still wearing pants. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Cameron Hammond For C-Heads

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