Miss Bumbum Finalist Claudia Alende Homages Kim Kardashian Nekkid Shoot


You know you've at least partially broken the Internet when you have Brazilian butt contest girls biting your photoshoots. Love it or hate it, the Kim Kardashian Paper Magazine nekkid shoot has made an impression around the globe. Thus we find Claudia Alende of Miss BumBum Brazil contest doing her best to imitate the now infamous set of forward, sideway, and butt-ways views of the lightly to not-dressed at all Kim.

Hmm. I need some time to ponder this one. It's bizarre, yet mesmerizing. A bit oaky in its aroma. Yes, I think I like it. I'm not suggesting that every Brazilian girl with a large keester try their own version of these shiny bottom poses, but I'm also thinking if that did happen that wouldn't be such a horrible thing. Is it possible that Kim Kardashian has done something positive for this world? That needs a lot more time to ruminate. Enjoy.

Michea Crawford Smoking Hot in Bestform Lingerie

You may recall Michea Crawford from that epic squash court short form video. Or now you can recall her as the super hottie in the lingerie pimping all kinds of lace and silk and sextastic. There's just something about this Michea lovely lady that exudes all kinds of alluring midichlorians or pheromones or something that makes me feel like I'm super hungry but I don't want food. That's the mark of an Egotastic! winner.

In a more enlightened society all women would wear lingerie about and we would name the most passion inducing our queen and leader. You might not agree with her policies, but you'd always approve of her positions. I don't want to shake up society that much, but this little change will improve lives. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel a Picture of Angelic Winged Beauty in Lingerie Fitting for the V.S. Fashion Show

You don't just show up to a monster televised lingerie runway show and not be pre-fitted for your bras and panties. Not to mention your wings. God forbid your panties are too snug or too lose and flash something untoward to an large television audience. We can't have that. The show might actually get interesting.

Candice Swanepoel and her uber-sextastic body showed up for her pre-fitting for the big upcoming show. I can't imagine a better job in the world than making sure Candice's tiny bits of silky underwear fits her just perfectly. Maybe the job of removing that lingerie later on, though I'm not sure that's an actual job so much as a dream volunteer assignment. Candice, you're going to cause me to add even more lacy elements to my closet of shame. I don't blame you, but you probably will still need a reminder spanking. I give with one hand and punish with the other. Enjoy.

Ariana Grande Uses Tush and Legs to Crack the Christmas Concert Seal

Well, it is mid November so Christmas is like tomorrow or something. Time to crack open the start of Yuletide concert series with our minxy curvaceous feline hottie, Ariana Grande, strutting around the stage for a Very Grammy Christmas performance. The Grammy's are in February unless I'm mistaken, but I suppose there's nobody that doesn't love a good Xmas tie-in for their promotional efforts. And I'm hardly complaining at any opportunity to see my belusted Ariana Grande in her various skin right outfits preening and posing about on stage as she croons what I'm sure is an invaluable addition to the world of classic music.

I'm up for pretty much Ariana Grande anything. Christmas concert in mid-November. Conjugal visits to me in my minimum security penitentiary for what will be described as serial panty drawer raiding. I'm ready for Ariana any time all the time. She doesn't even have to sing. In fact, I'm going to recommend that. Just those little furry outfits will do fine. Bless you, Ariana. And, naturally, Merry Christmas. Enjoy.

Miley Meets Uncle Terry And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Say what you want about Miley Cyrus, she looks hot in these Terry Richardson pics. (Drunken Stepfather)

Abigail Ratchford's funbags are so big they don't fit in a bra. (TMZ)

Brooke Perry wears a bikini like a champ. (Hollywood Tuna)

Iris Kavka sports a tiny swimsuit because it's her job. (Popoholic)

Kat Torres shills her ta-tas for expensive water. (The Superficial)

These outtakes from the Perelli calander are fantastically hot. (COED)

This is Jessica Cediel and these are her chichis. (Celebslam)

Dorith Mous Topless Nekkid Edgy in Black and White


Dutch model Dorith Mous is known for her unique look and edgy personality when compared to some of the Wonder Breads in the fashion modeling world. Not that there's anything wrong with Wonder Bread, it got me through several years of my life. But Dorith is known for her smoking, piercings, tough girl persona that allures many photographers such as Mario Kroes to want to shoot her looking nekkid but powerful. I get that because I find all nekkid women to be powerful. Just by way of exercise, trying saying no to a  request from one sometime. I know, you can't.

Black and white makes everything artistic. You tell your significant other that please but not that you heard it from me. Anything monochromatic has instant cultural street cred. Especially smoking hot Dutch girls smoking nekkid in bed. For sure, them. Ah, art, you are at some small instances so very helpful to the gentleman ogler. Enjoy.

Alexandra Eriksson Thong Clad Beach Booty Pictures Day Two; Hint, They’re Getting Even Better!

I've pretty much decided my new life's mission is to find out everything I can find out about model Alexandra Eriksson and use it to forge some type of hopefuly gambit wherein she believes I'm worthy of her affections. I mean, I certainly am worthy in my own mind, it's just a matter of translating that to meaningful progress in a relationship involving more than just myself. Daddy's arm is getting so so tired.

For the second day in a row, the booty incredible beachy model hit the beach for the creepy water company people in but a tiny thong bikini flashing a sextastic cheek view we didn't think could get any finer. But it did. I'm not sure whether Alexandra was born with that perfectly pert derriere or she has molded it from countless hours of hard work, dedication, and the laser beam leering of men like me at the gym. Either way, bravo. I mean, seriously, bravo, that thing is absolutely amazing. Enjoy.