Does Paris Hilton Have Upgraded Funbags?

I don’t know. Bra technology being what it is today, sadly, advanced I suppose, it’s sometimes hard to tell in this pushed up, scrunched up, so-called magic lifting bosom engineering age what is real and what is not real and what is really really not real. That’s so confusing. I mostly just like to watch.

Billionaire Barbie has most definitely been showing off some super bigger cleavage this week in London, venturing out to hotspots in the evening, specifically making brilliant note of her improved bust line. Paris has always been considered the au natural, lithesome model type, but then again, a solid percentage of Tinsel Town darlings have had some augmentation. The streets of downtown Beverly Hills are lined with plastic surgeon’s offices and coffee shops and not everybody drinks coffee. Just saying, there’s more chestal square inches than we’re used to seeing. Not that this is a bad thing. Paris, I’m just happy you’re happy. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Shows Off Her Body for Self Magazine January 2015

Oh, Jennifer Lopez. You never cease to satisfy. Jenny from the Block showed off her gorgeous body in this sexy spread in Self Magazine. I’ve been a fan of J-Lo’s booty ever since I was in High School. I remember when I went to see her in Selena in 1995 and thought, “Sweet mother of buttcheeks, what an arse!” I said, my eyes bugging out of my head like a cartoon wolf. J-Lo’s bare mid-riff is extraordinary. For a woman her age to be keeping it that tight is a rare thing. Especially after popping out a couple of kids and being married to the likes of Marc Anthony. What I do know is that any day that a scantily clad pic of J-Lo comes across my desk is a happy one for ‘ol Jack.

Jen is a sexy lady and I’m a professional sexy lady appreciator so I should know. I’m going to go back to bed now and dream about Jen and Iggy Azalea’s thumpers shaking in that Booty video.

Photo Credit: Self Magazine

Daphne Joy Red Hot Cleavage at Toys For Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show Charity Event

Daphne Joy and her boobs were in the mood to give back at the Toys for Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show charity event. Toys and money are great presents during the holiday season, but ta-tas are the gift that keeps on giving. Daphne was wearing a LOW cut red hot dress that showed off her luscious funbags. Daphne has got some of the most spectacular chest puppies in the boob game today. They are like a pair of ripe honeydew melons but that I want to motorboat rather than eat. It’s important to remember those less fortunate at this time of year, namely those ladies that aren’t as lucky as Daphne to be so well endowed. If Santa really wanted to up his game he’d give out breast implant certificates.

In the meantime, I’m going to ask Santa to bring me more bikini pics of Daphne. Maybe a nip slip. Whatever you can do, Santa.

Photo Credit: GSI / Splash News

Kendall Jenner Covered Topless in Love Magazine, The Full Hot Spread, As It Were

There’s simply no denying that Kendall Jenner has made the modeling industry her bitch. Silver spoon and family connections and not deserving her spot and all other criticisms that don’t really matter aside, Kendall is now one of the biggest gets in the fashion and photography business. I’m not sure she’s done anything particularly herself to cause this beneficial outcome, but she does look mighty tall and lean and hot, so that’s a big something.

Kendall’s Love magazine photos in black and white and hot all over have kind of trickled out in past weeks, but viewing the entire set is something of a spiritual experience. Love or hate the Kardashians, or even Kendall herself for whatever reason, I think you’d have to admit you see her underlying talent for this walking and posing sextastic mannequin line of work. She’s going to be huge. Good for you, Kendall. This is what you wanted and none of us oglers can hardly complain. You look good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Love Magazine

Humpday Huzzah! Sammy Braddy Topless and Dolphin Friendly in the Pool

 
CLICK TO SEE UNCENSORED

Oh, I do love a good pool picture party around the beginning of winter to remind me how hotties are best served — warmly. While the vision of racktastic Sammy Braddy in a parka and snow boots is still plenty enough to rev my easily started engines. Just look at Sammy and the way makes both man and inflatable pool toys, well, inflate.

On Wednesdays we give thanks to the wonderful boobtastic and crazy hot women that makes this world spin around at just the precise RPM to keep us modestly grounded, but our thoughts still pie in the sky. Sammy certainly is a stellar slice of that pie. Huzzah!

Photo Credit: Sammy Braddy

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Hot in Harper’s

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, thy name is elegance. Also hot sextastic drooling catatonic goodness, leaning more toward the latter.

Rosie found her way into Australia’s Harper’s Bazaar magazine because she’s particularly good looking and has a stellar fine body. Those would be your qualifications, along with photographing well, natural.. Which she does. She’s something of a stunner, with some sweet natural funbags that might need a little attention. Granted, the need may be mostly on my side. The point is, I’d be willing to beg something fierce. Never underestimate the female emotion of sympathy. It is their only known weakness. Add tears and you are golden. There is no bottom to my shame well. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Harper Bazaar Magazine

Jadeon Stage Stretch Likes a Sextastic Armstrong for the Shizz Water


Jadeon Stage is a hip hop dancer. Which is sort of like my Cabbage Patch signature move, but slightly more contemporary. She also seems a bit more flexible than myself, but at least 140-degrees on the compass. Jadeon got water tapped to do the latest and most curvaceous 138 Water Shoot. It’s not a water company, it’s a bikini girls photography venture. Which for the record has far more benefits to society.

Jadeon shows off some of her more stretchable poses, proving once again that a supple woman is a good woman. I think Confucius originally said that. Maybe it was David Spade. The point is, damn, just look what she can do with that bodacious body of hers. There ought to be a law, mostly compelling it. There’s a reason God invented beach binoculars. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet