Hilary Duff Nipples Are Happy to Be Exercising

Hilary Duff is getting herself back into fine ole shape after a near divorce and a youngin' and some very odd romantic overtures from Aaron Carter, and her nipples at least seem happy to be back in the gym

The former TV starlet has remained ever cute, even as her shape has changed through the years, now headed in the hot mommy direction, completely with yoga pants and some headlights poking through her sports bra outside the gym. This is the standard m.o. for young celebrity moms that we've come to almost take for granted here in Los Angeles. Almost. But not quite when Hilary's high beams are shining on. I shall never forsake a good nipple poke. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Killer Tush and One Lucky Bastard Swan Raft

Most people want to come back as a king or some pro athlete or some big shot, I want to come back as the inflatable pool raft that Claudia Romani and her shiny thumper was molesting with her bikini body over the weekend in Miami. That lucky bit of Made in China blow up toy got super blown up by Claudia in multiple bikinis rubbing to and fro atop it from beak to tail. Yes, I am jealous of a piece of plastic.

Someday, when the laws are more progressive and righteous, Claudia's killer tush and I will be wedded in holy matrimony for up to eighteen months. At some point on our honeymoon, I will request that Claudia give me the 'swan treatment'. She'll smile because she'll know exactly what I mean. I'll cry because I'm about to be so happy. Enjoy.

I’m a Simple Man Who Simply Likes McKayla Maroney on a Swing (VIDEO)

Oh, I'm not all that complicated. I like a peaceful Sunday morning like the rest of you. A cool beverage. The sound of children playing in the park far enough away that I can't hear them at all. I also happen to like former Olympic gold medal gymnast McKayla Maroney and what's become of her since the Olympics and since growing in her own attention-desiring babely legal status.

Sure, she hasn't exactly completely exposed her entire wry smile bodily secrets to the world. That's coming, eventually. But for now it's just All-American girl McKayla posting videos of herself in a little low cut top riding a swing in the Spring sun. I've got a case of the warm and fuzzies. Actually, my fuzzies are super warm. Bless you, McKayla. We are getting from A to B with some interesting stops in between. Enjoy.







Lake Bell Sweet Epic Hot Outtakes from Esquire

Lake Bell really does have one of the finest female forms in all of Tinsel Town. Under-heralded in my view as many are. That's why I am compelled to gift you these visuals of Lake and her stellar hot body from outtakes of her recent Esquire magazine photoshoot.

I'm not sure what lucky guy gets to find Lake Bell lounging half nekkid in his comfy chair when he gets home, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember if it was me. In fact, I'd never actually leave home in the first place, just inquire politely with Lake if I might be so helpful as to remove her undergarments with my incisors. Oh, man, that body was designed, built, and packaged in hot skin in some factory operating in my version of heaven. I really need to do a factory inspection soon. Lake Bell, please don't make it stop! Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Paula Bulczynska Topless Goodies for Treats Magazine

 

Thanks to EgoReader 'Tony C.' among others who directed our peeps toward the stunning hot topless goodness that is Paula Bulczynska, a Polish sensation of a sextastic model featured in this stunning Dennison Bertram pictorial of her in the current edition of Treats magazine.

On Fridays we like to close out the week by opening our eyes to the best and the most bodacious among our female planetary denizen. Poland has been stepping it up big time of late in the World Cup of Hottie Exports, so I'm not surprised by the rise of Paula Bulczynska to the Egotastic! limelight. Oh, the limelights I'd love to direct on Paula. Just so damn hot! Thank God It's Funbags!

Shanina Shaik Could Use a Little Love, So I Intend to Love Her a Little More

The multiethnic hottie from Down Under, Shanina Shaik was showing off her naturally alluring talents for Free People Swimwear, which I assume isn't free to buy, but you are free to ogle Shanina Shaik, which is plenty sweet enough a deal for me. Oh, those sultry features on display in skimpy swimwear. I might need to free my own people if you know what I'm saying, and even I really don't.

Shanina Shaik could use a little more appreciation I thin as a top flight and world class sextastic hottie. We don't see her that often, but every time we do, I'm reminded of just how badly I want to cover her buns with room temperature butter and play griddle master. Shanina, you are amazing. Enjoy.

Claire Muzik Wears See-Through Panties for a Hot and Naughty Photoshoot in Huntington Beach

 

If you happen to like hot Czech models and see-through panties, then this photoshoot is just for you.

I guess the laws about the public displaying of the lady nest are a little looser down Huntington Beach way, because Claire Muzik took her hot body photo object self down to the surfing capital for a little show and tell me how much more to show for the cameras. Not that I'm complaining. I'm mostly whimpering and capturing some of these photos for my next talk to the neighborhood kids on where babies come from. I am very civic minded. Plus, sometimes, I get some 18+ girls looking for a refresher because they missed sex ed back in the day because they had mono.

Claire Muzik, you are my new hero. You and  your lady nest are cordially invited to my next dinner party. Don't be surprised if the mansion and multitude of VIP guess indicated on the invitation turns out to be just me and my studio apartment smelling of Costo potpourri. It's called creative license. I'll warm the cheese. Enjoy.