Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures Working Out, Working to Booty Perfection, I’m So Happy!

Every now and then I get this pain in my nethers and realize I haven’t seen uber-MILFtastic Jessica Alba in a bikini lately. Where are my well placed photo spies tracking her on vacation? But, no, coming up dry. Then, of all things, the ripe super hottie goes and posts crazy asstastic photos of her own hot bikini self, with the workout photos in stretch pants to show the effort. Is this heaven? It’s got to be a decent approximation.

My mind often goes numb for several minutes in the face of extreme visual intoxication. Ogling Jessica Alba in a little butt cheek baring bikini bottom qualifies as outright inebriation of the senses I do believe. I know I can’t drive. I might be able to make it to a private space and cry. Blessed days, my friends. Blessed days. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Check out the best of Jessica Alba skin on TV and film at Mr. Skin.

Alyssia McGoogan Topless Tight Booty Hiking Perfection

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I love it when a pair of sweet booty cheeks come together for fine female form bits of wonderments. Case in point, stellar alluring model Alyssia McGoogan and her stellar Scottish descended lady bits teamed up with famed sextastic girl photographer Attlio D’Agostino for one epic bit of lust inducement in P magazine. If the P stood for pound this bit of visuals into your libido forever and ever, I’d not be shocked. Though I’m likely wrong.

Whenever I meet a new crazy hot face and body so effortlessly creating happy feelings up and down my nervous system, I’m reminded once more that the sextastic is not a fixed pie, it’s an ever-growing domain of sheer happy feelings. Alyssia McGoogan, welcome to Egotastic!. Linger awhile, we’re making chili for the Super Bowl. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: P Magazine

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Adriana Lima Leads Squad of Hotties for V.S. Super Bowl Promo

The girls of Victoria’s Secret, the angels, are gearing up for their big commercial promo for the Super Bowl on Sunday. It’s unclear exactly whether the ad is target at the guys or the millions of women who also watch football especially on this one big game day of the year. Either way, I suspect the guys will be watching.

There’s something extra-credit sextastic about world class smoking hot girls in sports uniforms. Full football gear is not exactly my first choice in fine female form wardrobe, but I would work with it. It might get a little weird if they’re all padded up like real ballers, especially when helping them undress. But stay focused on their feminine beauty and what lay beneath and you won’t feel so uncomfortable removing their shoulder pads and jocks. The commercial should be special. I’ll watch it even as I am inevitably saddened by my certain Super Bowl betting loss. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

YouTube Sensation Karen Alloy Topless Bodacious Sextastic in Radiant Black and White

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Scoff all you want at YouTube celebrities, you old fogies, but it’s the new thing for a while now. We used to have TV stars, now we have YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook stars. And if you don’t think advertisers and marketers are going where the millennials are, you are not reading old copies of AdWeek on your fifth leg of a Southwest flight to Kansas City like I am. It’s already done happened. Busty young hot YouTube stars like Karen Alloy have 250,000 subscribers and they’re not looking back. Though, thankfully, they are looking topless.

Barbara Eden couldn’t show her belly button when she became a TV star in the 60′s. Welcome to media stars of the 10′s. Sweet comedic sensation Karen Alloy has taken off her top to show the digital world she’s more than just a goofy YouTube funny girl. She’s a YouTube funny girl you’d ditch the entirety of your wealth and lifelong buddies just to be with for five minutes in the broom closet playing find my tickle spot. It’s a black and white shoot by Jordan Volness, so we’re all good with our artistic accreditations. Go forth and ogle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Jordan Volness

Karlie Kloss Nip Slip On Versace Runway

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Karlie Kloss, the windy city born hottie model who may or may not be having lesbionic sexy time with Taylor Swift (you didn’t hear it from me, but you did, you did), made a grand entrance at the Versace show at Paris Fashion Week by flashing her nipple through a misplace dress of some indescribable and expensive sort. I guess you pay a little extra for the chance to win hearts and minds and gentlemen oglers with your bare pink headlight saying howdy.

As you know, Fashion Week gives and it takes. Mostly I guess it takes from people who like to spend money on clothes, and it gives back in the form of wardrobe malfunctions and impossibly showy cut-up couture. I’l do that deal any day, especially since graphic tees at Target are still just $12 when out of season. You see how I win. It’s hard to see, but it’s there. Bless you, Karlie Kloss fashion nipple. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/Getty

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Kelly Brook Bikini Cleavetastic Workout Time

Kelly Brook has been working out something fierce of late, in preparation perhaps for her new Ellen-produced sitcom where she plays the buxom hottie, naturally. And equally as naturally Kelly has been loading up her Instagram account with a ton o’ hot bodied bikini and sweaty lunge time workout result photos just to let everyone know she puts in the gym time to deserve her faptastic curves.

Now, it’d be easy to think to yourself, no matter how much I workout, I’ll never look like Kelly Brook. What’s the point of even trying? That’s exactly my reaction too. I can’t tell you how much time and anguish it saves me. Far easier to sit back in the La-Z-Boy and ogle in active boobtastic mode. So much to delight in with Kelly Brook. So much exposed fun. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Charli XCX Bikini Top Short Skirt Combo For Prurient Pop Music Perfection

Charli XCX wears some of my very favorite stage costumery in teasy pop music today. She really has nailed all the various outfits to attract the attention of a demographic that may not particularly be suited to her music. Sometimes she’s the cheerleader or the naughty schoolgirl or the wayward lady of the evening, or this particular get up she wore while performing in London. Let’s just label it heaven for Uncle Bill. A bikini top and a short skirt to match with her flirty show performance. Not quite as raunchy as Miley, not quite as coquettish as Ariana. This is sort of the sweet spot.

The boon in visual wonderments from contemporary pop music certainly can’t be overestimated. It’s been huge. And when you realize millions of idolizing young women are imitating their heroes, well, I believe this is called the domino of awesomeness effect. Keep up the good work Charli. I’ll be watching, from the front row, kind of peering up but pretending not to. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI