Iggy Azalea has quite the bottom thing going on. I’m not sure by what means that beast came to be born, but it’s an epic keester that Iggy uses like a weapon when she’s on stage entertaining the people who like her music, and maybe her curvy body as well. Put me in the camp of the latter. I’m not sure I could do 90 minutes of screaming kids and uninspired music, but I could do 90 hours of staring at her thumper and imagining the possibilities. If her rumored sex tape comes out, I might have to make that 90 days.
Iggy Azalea has certainly propelled herself to the top of the charts in a rather short amount of time. At least since we first met here. The larger that butt monster of hers grows, the more her popularity may continue to rise. There’s some mathematical equation I’m sure that explains this. Enjoy.
I can get enough bottled water. I can not get enough wicked hot young models in bikinis pimping said bottled water. Chelsea Heath is the latest pimp d’hour sextastic bikini model to take the 138 water challenge. That is, looking wicked hot along the beach in Malibu while pretending it’s all about the water and not about her ridiculously hot bikini body. Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a crazy good looking woman in a bikini, I pay little attention to what’s in her hand. Unless it’s a gun pointed at me asking me how I got past her Rotweilers and security guards and into her bedroom. Then I do notice.
Chelsea Heath, I know this kind of shoot is a big break for you and I applaud your efforts and all the beautiful parts of you that are also efforting to be noticed. Brains alone get us nowhere in life. I’m speaking hypothetically, I don’t really know what that’s like. But I do know I’m in lust with Chelsea and her bikini booty. Oh, man, pour some out for my gonad homies. Enjoy.
If you happen to love your tall blonde Nordic types from the upper Midwest, prepare to fall in lust with young fair-haired model Berit Birkeland, or just Berit, as she’s known in the fashion modeling pro circuit, featured this month quite topless and udderly delicious in Galore magazine.
It’s not often that I come across a girl that steals my heart and loins in one fell swoop. Maybe thrice a day at most. Put this lovely funbagged lass well into that camp. I could easily see taking her to meet my parents so they can say to me, wait, I thought you were gay. Well, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but, no, it’s girls like Berit and their outstanding bodies that make me swoon and flutter. With a heavy lean toward the fluttering. Be still my tender bits. Berit, I am so damn glad to meet you. Enjoy.
Check Out More Galore Magazine Goodness »
Don’t think Celebrity Funbag Hacker Gate has done one single iota of damage to the constant, increasingly large flow of self-published selfies hotness emanating from our finest exhibitionist celebrities. If anything, it’s only increased the competition by way of pointing out that everybody and their mother, literally, are taking sexy photos of themselves if they’ve got the goods to flaunt. Even the good girls are being bad on camera, even if they don’t share on social media like most do these days.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Adrianne Curry flashing her bare booty in a thong, Selena Gomez bikini vacation fun time photos, Bella Thorne teen bikini showoff, Nina Agdal bikini biking hottie, Aubrey O’Day laying on her large yams, Ashley Tisdale white bikini hotness, Ariana Grande schoolgirl selfie, Beyonce perhaps slightly shopped bikini candids, and much much more. You owe it to the right thinkers who opened up the very first Dunkin Donuts in Los Angeles to check out each and every one of these sizzling hot social media candids. So much self-shared goodness. Enjoy.
Nobody quite carries herself like Kim Kardashian. The original dramatically curved petite celebrity with the accentuated derriere and the accentuated funbags that form an almost perfectly balanced apparatus for ogling. It’s as if Kim’s body was designed in a laboratory by really smart, and really horny, engineering students who wanted to prove the laws of cantilever by way of things that would give them woodies. Success I’d say.
Kim was strutting around town in a tight skirt and a top that showed off her equally robust pleasure puppies in what has to be her iconic T &A look. That which brought her fame and fortune and, someday, likely arthritis. Nevertheless, it truly is hard not to look. I think people unfairly rate her because of her personality. Alas, if only we men could stop being so un-shalow and go back to ogling her body parts. Enjoy.
Most people wear comfortable baggy clothes when they go to the airport. But most people aren’t Lady Gaga. She wore quite the provocative/weird outfit at the Athens International Airport. It’s sort of like a techno mermaid. She has a pair of metal seashells covering her supple ta-tas that are staying on by some kind of magic Gaga powers. The bottom is a see-through skirt in which you can see that amazing Gaga booty. She’s in the top five of booties of all time as far as I’m concerned. Gaga is obviously in tremendous shape, what with all that crazy dancing and whatnot that she does, but she’s still got some serious curves. She may be a big star but I know a shapely New York Italian booty when I see it and I’m looking at pictures of them right now.
I like Lady Gaga because she just doesn’t give a flying F about anything. If she wants to go to wear a meat dress or go to the airport dressed like a slutty Little Mermaid she’s going to do it.
One of the hotter young models to come on the scene lately is Sara Malakul Lane. She is so hot that she can’t stand to be fully clothed, which is a good thing. In this photoshoot Sara wore a see-through bodysuit in which you can clearly see everything. It’s not one of those see-through things that’s really opaque, it’s pretty darn clear. Her funbags are a work of art. They should be bronzed and mounted on a pedestal in some art museum for everyone to admire. I like her because she’s thin but still curvy. She’s got amazing legs that are all toned and long. You can see a hint of her lady parts as well. My favorite picture is the one in which she’s inserted her fingers in the bottom seam of the crotch as if she’s going to reveal something, but doesn’t. You flirt.
I hope to see more of Sara in the future. And by more of her I mean both that she gets more work and that she continues to show off skin.