Pamela Horton Topless Playboy Delights to Celebrate National Dictionary Day (And a Free Trial Membership to Playboy.TV)

 

It's National Dictionary Day. That's the truth. We're supposed to be celebrating Noah Webster and the creation of books in 4 point font I can't possibly read. But I decided why not celebrate the smartest vocabulary rich Playboy Playmate I've ever had the blessed chance to meet, Pamela Horton. When she's not ridiculously hot and topless for Playboy, Pamela is a seriously overeducated and super smart gamer nerd we had the privilege to meet here at Egotastic because I guess she wasn't smart enough to know better. What a girl. Hot smart geek by day, hot smart geek without her clothes on by night. I know, perfect.

PLAYBOY TV IS FREE FOR ONE WEEK. FREE IS REALLY THE BEST PRICE EVER!

To celebrate the Dictionary, words, and amazingly hot bare hooters, I have to insist you immediately try out a FREE WEEK LONG MEMBERSHIP on Playboy.TV.  I've had zero unsatisfied customers to date. The satisfied ones are too tired to answer the phone with anything other than grunts, which I count on my clipboard as highly satisfied. Nobody complains about bevies of hot nekkid models online in TV form. Even my mom loves it. I let her use my account so she can tell my priest how I turned out. I feel just guilty enough to make it that much more awesome. Give it a test run. You will be most pleased. Enjoy.

Here's Pamela when she came to visit us, all geeked out:

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping Bikiniworld Hotness, That’s A Lot of Bikini

I've not heard of Bikiniworld, but it sounds like a place I'd like to live. I can have all of my stuff in a U-Haul in under 45 minutes at this point, gassed up, and ready to go. Joanna Krupa who is sort of my girlfriend though she doesn't know it yet stars in the latest catalog pics for Bikiniworld and she will probably move many units. If I were a woman (oh, dare to dream) I'd probably purchase into anything that I thought might make me look anything as alluring as Joanna Krupa in these two pieces numbers.

I consider myself fortunate that the baggy swimsuit I've been sporting since the last millenium still fits and only gets modest jeers and put downs by the pool. I can't imagine having to upgrade the swimwear every year, let alone every season. But as a service to our readers, I will naturally keep my peeps to the bikini promotional circuit, it's a thankless job, but I'm not good with 'you're welcomes'. Enjoy.

 

Mylene Thompson Because Topless Busty Asian Are Still Three of My Favorite Words Ever

 

I'm sticking with the hot bosomy girls of the Asian variety for the time being. The exotic sextastic is on a role, including now Mylene Thompson, who is baring her swell funbags in SHOW Magazine this very month. I'm not going to suggest there's something extra special about how girls with an Asian flare and bosomy bare boobtasitc. But I am most definitely going to think it.

Mylene Thompson has the chest of a woman from whom I would gladly take orders. I'm not submissive by nature, but I'm more than willing to learn from the right woman with the spectacular ta-ta's and the appropriate amount of experience to sting, but not injure with her riding crop. It would make for a fun weekend. Or year. Mylene, call me. I'm in the book under slightly desperate or desperately horny. Cross reference and dial. I'm already packed. Enjoy.

Emma Stone In “Cabaret” Lingerie Hotness And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Check out these sexy pics of Emma Stone in lingerie for "Cabaret". (Drunken Stepfather)

Say what you want about Lance Armstrong, his girlfriend Anna Hansen is hot. (TMZ)

Selena Gomez is cleavtastic in a blue dress going to the Jimmy Kimmel show. (Hollywood Tuna)

Georgia Fowler in a bikini is just what you need today. (Popoholic)

Britney Spears looks 2002 amazing in a crop top shirt. (The Superficial)

Courtney Stodden, her boobs, and her dogs went out on the town. (Dlisted)

Kerry Washington shows off now makeup and big cleav for Allure Magazine. (Huffington Post)

Abby Cubey Bikini Hot Filipina Lust Inducement Time in Malibu

Whoa, baby. If you happen to love petite minxy hot Filipina girls like your Uncle Bill does, then you are in for a real treat. The weird birds at 138 Water have brought out model and singer Abby Cubey to show off her bikini hot bodily wares in Malibu to pimp their water. Another day, another blessedly hot girl in a bikini who probably won't move any units of water, but she will stir many other units if you know what I'm saying. I'm not even sure I know what I'm saying half the time.

Abby Cubey reminds me that this entire globe is a hot spot for hot women. I love this planet for all of its natural resources. If I wasn't born here, I'd have to invade. I bet Jupiter doesn't have nearly this insane amount of sextastic women on their beaches. They don't even have beaches. Or women. Thank your lucky stars, earthling. Enjoy.

Gracie Carvalho Wicked Hot in Silk and Lace

At this point, Victoria's Secret is employing half of the world's super fine looking young women. Sort of like me, except I have a small handful of people and they all look like one of the characters from Family Guy. So not like me at all. Oh, to work with the planet's most stunning women and dress them in little bits of lingerie for photoshoots in exotic locales. I can feel my hands virtually working in the bronzing tans right now. Not that Gracie Carvalho need any artificial color. Or anything else artificial.

This sultry Brazilian native could sell mice to an elephant. She's so incredibly gorgeous and alluring I just doubled down my regular order with V.S. for the October additions to my shame closet. Damn, it's almost torturous that such sextastic beauties exist and show off for the camera in nothing but a little pair of panties. And, by torturous, naturally I mean it's the best thing ever. Gracie, you are indeed a heaven sent blessing. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Bouncy Flouncy Fun Time Cleavage Is In the House

I think in my recent edition of Stalker Weekly, I mentioned to you my excitement knowing Kelly Brook was moving herself into my general vicinity. That's a real estate term, sadly, not a sexual innuendo. Now Kelly and her round mounts of rebound fun are jiggling up and down the local streets making coffee runs, shopping, and whatever else it is curvaceous full-bodied female models do in between stripping down for the cameras.

Kelly Brook is the answer to those of you who displeased with the trends of skinny chicks in Hollywood. Kelly has got more than a little something something tucked up under her wardrobe. She's a woman with no straight lines anywhere, save for the line of men moving into place to hit on her now that she's single again. Not that that stopped them before. Kelly, come by any time and borrow some sugar from me. You know know when I might need a return favor on those sweets. Enjoy.