On Bees, Religion, And New York City

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bill-swift - June 21, 2012

The Episcopal bishop of New York City, Mark Sisk, has blessed the bees. Yeah, the insect. The ceremony happened earlier this week at St. John the Divine cathedral. This bee loving cleric decided it would be nice to say a prayer and blessing for the swarm of these bastards living in the church, (what's going on in Episcopal churches these days?). Why on Earth would the church give its sanction to something as evil and hell bent on the destruction of humans as the bee? It's like the Pope endorsing Fascism all over again.

Where as many lucky places all over the world have seen a marked drop in their bee population, it's on the rise in New York. Why? Because there are hundreds of morons raising bees in the city that know nothing about beekeeping. Hipster jerks in Williamsburg raise the stinging demons on their loft rooftops in order to sell, "Like, organic locavore honey, man." The only problem is they can't keep a lid on the bees and they get out. Last month Jude Law was attacked and stung on his girlish face and bottom by a swarm of these beasts in NYC. Personally, I'm deathly allergic to bee stings and I've had to start carrying an Epi pen with me in case I get stung. So, do me a favor religion and stay out of the hive. All I need is bees launching a religious crusade to sting people and buzz around trash cans.

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