Olivia Jordan and Ashley Graham Busty Show at Miss USA Competition

I think there was a time when I knew the days and dates of every beauty pageant across this great land. Then they expanded with multiple spinoffs and lookalike events, not to mention making the audience sit through question and answer rounds and somebody playing the violin, and suddenly it became something to pay attention to after the fact. Such was the case with the Miss USA pageant. Not to be confused with the Miss America Pageant. Or the Miss Egotastic Pageant which takes place in my humble abode thrice a year. If you've never seen down on their luck okay looking female vagrants in jorts parading around an Ikea kitchen table, you're missing out on real entertainment.

While Miss District of Columbia, which isn't even a state, won the Miss USA pageant, the real show began on the red carpet where invited celebrities and pageant veterans such as Olivia Jordan, Ali Landry, Julianne Hough, and the chest talented plus sized Ashley Graham made their way across the photo line in funbag displaying outfits. You don't want to upstage the pageant contestants, at the same time this is a beauty event, so let the decked out sextastic and cleavage fly. I always feel a letdown when these pageants are over. Mostly because I'm not a judge who got to interview super ambitious hopefuls in my upstairs hotel room. Now then, let's get to the talent portion of the evening, if you know what I mean, future Miss Winner. Enjoy.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}