aldo-vallon - December 14, 2017
I would like to make a complaint of false advertising to whichever bureau of government handles that sort of thing. Olivia Culpo's top is labeled as pink, and yet I do not see a single shade of color on her entire body that could pass for pink. For the sake of her honor, and in the name of being thorough, I will volunteer to take a closer look. I will inspect every inch of that impeccable canvas if necessary so that we do not have another witch trial on our hands. That last one got ugly and I still feel a bit guilty over it, but if you do not want me to think you are a witch then do not make a quarter appear from behind my ear. I know there was nothing behind my ear because I am meticulous in my hygienic practices, to the point of bathing in paint thinner, therefore it is simply an impossibility.
Acts of false advertising are not a joke to be taken lightly. Imagine if a man saw that her top was labeled as pink, but only seeing it as the black that is, then had a mental breakdown. He knows he would have no life as a colorblind man, so he hijacks a tank and drives it into the Dallas Cowboys' cheerleaders. Now there are no more cheerleaders.
Photo Credit: Splash News
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