Olivia Culpo Is Smoldering Hot In Express Model Spread

What does a guy have to do to get access to a rooftop? Every babe with a photographer gets to hang out on the rooftop of their choosing, but a guy is forced to hang out exclusively in rooms with ceilings. It’s not right.

I would love to hang out in the open air and get some photos to spruce up the online dating profile, but the powers that be won’t allow it. They want me to pay a cover charge for a rooftop bar on top of the ten dollar drinks. I cannot afford that kind of lifestyle.

And God forbid I trespass onto a rooftop by myself. Whenever someone sees me they immediately assume I am going to kill myself, which is profiling, by the way. Not all guys that stand on roof ledges are jumpers. Some simply like to pretend they are pigeons, and no one is calling the fire department over pigeons on their ledges.

After the last time a person called 911 due to my affinity for ledges, the fire department said they would push me off themselves the next time it happened. Apparently they still claim they have better things to do than answer false alarms, but we all know their playing video games at the fire house.

Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Backgrid USA