Oh, Nintendo, What the Hell are You Doing Now?

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chris-littlechild - December 15, 2015

Nintendo have long been the avant-garde, cruising-through-the-gates-of-hell-on-grandma's-mobility-scooter, no effs given rebels of the gaming world. Since I got my first Game Boy way back on my tenth birthday, I've watched these guys pull all kinds of crazy shit.

Just a few years ago when the DS hit, touchscreen gaming was greeted like a Neanderthal being handed the keys to a pickup truck. We were confused, excited and a little aroused. Now, natch, everyone's cell phones are touchtastic, but back then it was the kind of incomprehensible voodoo people used to be burned at the stake for.

R.O.B the Robot? The motion-sensey Wii? The 3D wonderment of the Virtual Boy? Nintendo's history in the console-making business is one long story of batshit. So the question is, where the hell are they going next?

We've heard a couple of snippets about their upcoming console, the ‘NX.' With nothing concrete at all to go on, there's no way of knowing what kind of gimmickry it'll bring to the table. A lot, judging by this patent the company recently took out. See that up there in the header? That's a controller.

Obviously, buttons are for the weak. We're dealing with a touchscreen controller, with analog sticks and a couple triggers on the back. The way Kotaku tells it, this thing could also house a fancy-ass OLED screen (ike the PS Vita's), and overlaid digital buttons. There's also a card slot for who the hell knows what, along with a speaker.

As the report rightly says, ‘…before getting away from yourself and shouting "It's the Nintendo NX. Take my money." Patent documents are filed by hardware companies all the time for ideas of products they never make. It's very likely this is one of those patents.' Still, with gaming going the way of VR lately, it's interesting to wonder just what these mad bastards are cooking up to stay ahead of the innovative pack. 

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