New Sexy Bikini Video Proves Britney Spears Is In A Hot Zombified Stupor

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earl-jonas - June 25, 2019


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What a lovely time here !!! 🐠🐠🐠🐠

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Nobody can pull off zombified stupor chic like snarky songstress Britney Spears. Rumors have been swirling for years that her father has been excessive in exercising his legal control over her, and that she's been basically put in a medically-induced trance so as not to rebel against her handlers. A little crushed Thorazine sprinkled into her morning Velveeta shrimp and grits will do wonders on the ol' noggin. And we stan.


Britney Spears Instagram


But ya Spears - or whoever is in control of her social media - continues to post sexy vids accompanied by half-coherent sentiments. And we stan. This latest one (top of page) posted yesterday gives us the instantly iconic line:

Rising in the am of the morning

What human who a) isn't reading off a cue card drafted by someone with a subpar grasp of the English language and b) hasn't ingested enough horse tranquilizers to take down Godzilla would say this? It's freaking weird. The whole video is freaking weird.

But more importantly... look at that stomach. And those big zombie boobs. Britney isn't the only thing rising in the am of the morning. Your penis. It will also be rising in the am of the morning. As they say. But ya, she's f*cked.



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A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


View this post on Instagram



A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on

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