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Miss France Astonishing Victory

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Lex Jurgen - January 31, 2017

 

WME/IMG bought Miss Universe from Donald Trump last year after a bunch of Spanish language networks refused to air the event after Trump offended Mexican rapists and drug dealers. Spanish language networks particularly relevant since nobody who speaks English has watched the pageant in over a decade.

The pageant was moved from the U.S. to the Philippines where ironically pussy grabbing is the most a woman can hope for. The new owners promptly declared their dedication to creating a Miss Universe more focused on personality and humanity than beauty. An odd thing to say about a beauty pageant, because we already have the Nobel Prize ceremony where nobody gives a shit how you look in diaper padded bikini. 

Iris Mittenaere, Miss France, one in what was considered an upset because somebody heard that the fix was in for the Latin American countries this year. Also, Miss Venezuela was better looking. But the final judges decision turned on more than skin deep. One of the judges explained the working theory:

When you arrive at an event where the Miss Universe is going to be, you want to find a person that's accessible and not just a robot or with an attitude. You don't want that. You want somebody that's more human and who's going to touch other people. Because when they talk, people are going to listen.

Oddly, that's probably true of people who show up to see Miss Universe at the local Westfield mall. You seem mighty impressionable. 

Judges apparently dug Mittenaere's answer to her biggest challenge in life question. She noted being rejected for medical school. Not quite as big a challenge as going to medical school, but contextually pleasing. Mittenaere's now training to be a dental hygienist. Consider that training stopped. You're the reigning Miss Universe. The last five are fucking rich dudes in Hollywood. Make a short list.

 Photo credit: Splash News

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