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Millennial Males Are Soft Pussy Motherfuckers With Receding Musculature

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Lex Jurgen - August 19, 2016

There are a million and one reasons why Millennial males are shallow potpourriĀ smelling pale imitations of their forefathers. This one has some science behind it. Men in the Millennial age bracket are noticeably weaker in general strength than the same age bracket was 30 years ago. The study only measure "grip strength" but that factor is said to be a simple measure overall body strength and musculature. Also lifespan and future health problems related to lethargy. In short, Millennial males have floppier handshakes than their old man. By about twenty percent.

Since evolution doesn't move much in three decades, the only explanation is lifestyle. A combination of moving away from manual labor to softie office jobs and typing, and generalized reduction in physical fitness among children now adults. Also, calling a more masculine male for tire changes and basic plumbing repairs and presumably to please their woman. By the same token, women's strength isn't declining mostly because they're starting point thirty years ago was genteel and more are now working outside the home in some capacity. Brute strength was that one element men always had to fall back on in gender contests. Now, stare into the calves of Serena Williams and imagine yourself scrubbing floors with your tiny weak hands. The reign of man is over, save for the tears.

Photo credit: American Rag (cover)/PJ Media (interior)

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