Meet Jena Taylor, Here to Show Us What a Real Sextastic Gamer Girl Looks Like. Apparently (VIDEO)

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bill-swift - February 12, 2013

In June of last year, our fellow renegade lady-lusters from the depths of the devil's anus at Maxim magazine devised their Gamer Girl contest. This was, presumably, an endeavor to gather the hottest and most powerful video game enthusiasts among the fine fillies of America, to defend our cowardly hairy man-asses in case of an insurgence by alien forces. Y'know, like the Avengers, with the catchphrase amended to Erections Assemble!

That's totally what the deal was.

What this business did present was a wondrous accumulation of norky/nerdy women, actually deigning to be worthy of the moniker ‘gamer girl.' Oftentimes, them thar interwebs like to attribute this term to any model with a 360 controller unceremoniously concealing their sweet, sweet pokies from view. (Bonus points if the are facing the opposite damn way from the television at the time, and/or the controller is neither plugged in nor the correct one for the console somewhere in the background.) Which is, let's be frank, pretty awesome as well (we still don't know who Frank is, or how the bastard has eluded security again, but he agrees. Even if his tendency to shit in the wastebins is rather unsettling). It's the thought that counts, and when the thought is 'she may not have spent four consecutive unwashed days and nights stabbing dragons in the eyeball with her World of Warcraft guild, but those are some great boobs right there,' What's objectionable about that? Nothing, that's what.

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On rarefied occasions, though, you'll find those with actual legitimate gaming credentials that aren't as unattractive as a baboon's ballsack. Check out -in both senses of the term- Maxim's contest finalists right here. No, you really should. How often do you hear hotness of this caliber proclaiming, "It started with the original Call of Duty for the CPU (sic). I started joining clans and playing in online scrims. I haven't looked back since," or, indeed, "I'm also here to represent the LARP-ing community. Yeah you heard right. I partake in a live action role-playing game named Dystopia Rising. D.R. is a post-Apocalyptic Zombie Larp set roughly 150 years in the future."

A Larp, gentlemen. A Larp. Had the term not just been explained right there, would you have howled in your righteous chagrin and befuddlement, WHAT IN THE NAME OF LUCIFER'S LEFT BOLLOCK IS A ‘LARP'? We'd wager our wangs that you would. Which is proof, courtesy of actual science, that hotness and legitimate gaming penchants can and do collide within the female of the species.

(The above is Jena Taylor's contest entry, dubbed ‘A Real Gamer Girl,' presented by carolinarpg. You can visit Jena on Twitter.)

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