chris-littlechild - August 8, 2016
I’m sorry, Resident Evil, I really am, but I don’t think I can go on with this relationship any longer. You’ve changed, and I don’t like what you’re changing into. We had great times, during your survival horror-y, static camera angle-y, shitty tank-like controls-y glory days, but now? Now, you suck ass. I’m leaving you, and I’m keeping the jewellery.
Sure, most franchise fans aren’t as snarky as me, but that’s pretty well the gist right there. Since Resident Evil 4 steamed in and changed the face of Capcom’s seminal mutant ‘em up forever, a lot of us have been damn bitter about the whole thing. But we won’t go too deep into that; our in-depth Ego-guide to Resident Evil history has already got that covered.
Suffice to say that the series transformed from atmospheric, slow-paced survival horror to balls out Schwarzenegger-style action romp without warning. With the fifth and sixth releases, those iconic elements of the franchise seemed to fall away, leaving something that’s more or less unrecognizable.
Good news though, gents: We still have our herbs.
What do we know about the upcoming Resident Evil 7? Slim to eff all, that’s what. At E3 2016, we saw a brief demo of an experience that had nothing to do with the main game, but was ‘similar in tone’ to what we can expect. It was first-person, with a totally new cast. Again, Evil aficionados were a little pissed.
Capcom aren’t telling us much of anything for now, but there will be that ol’ classic healing item, the herb. In a bizarre little image shared with ambassadors (which is right in front of your eyeballs right now, if you hadn’t noticed), their return was confirmed. Along with something else to add to the pile of things we have no clue on.
What’s this coin doing here? I don’t know, Capcom. I JUST DON’T EFFING KNOW.