Michael Garcia - September 13, 2016
In honor of the wayward criminals of the comedy, Masterminds, in theaters September 30, we're taking a look at some of our world's most inept, clumsy, and dumb-ass criminals.
When you were a kid, did you have an imaginary friend. I know I did. I was an only child and I went to a private school that wasn't near my house so my friends lived far away. So, like many kids, I invented a friend to play with. But by about the age of 6 or 7 I had grown out of it. But some people, (who are insane), never lose their imaginary friends. They follow them into adulthood and frame them for drunk driving. The result can be murderous. At least that 's what happened to a man in Florida named...wait for it...Geoff Gaylord. It seems that he had been getting into all kinds of trouble with his imaginary best friend Mr. Happy. A few months ago he was picked up for drunk driving but he insists it was really Mr. Happy who was driving. He said,
"That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."
Mr. Gaylord walked into the Jacksonville Sheriff's station and confessed to having murdered someone. When the cops went to his house they found all kinds of drugs and other contraband, but no body. That is when Mr. Gaylord informed them that Mr. Happy was his imaginary friend. He described the murder thusly,
"He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal Ã¯Â¿Â½ listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."
He's in jail now for all the stuff the cops did find at his house. Seriously, what is going on in Florida?
See the Masterminds trailer.Â
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.