Martin Scorsese to Direct Leonardo DiCaprio as Teddy Roosevelt in New Biopic

When Martin Scorsese is done farting around on Netflix with Adam Sandler, he's coming back to the big screen in what's sure to be an event film of epic, award-winning proportions. Scorsese will direct frequent star Leonardo DiCaprio in a biopic of America's 26th President, Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt.

According to Deadline, Paramount has set Scorsese up to direct, with DiCaprio co-producing and taking in the lead role, and a script written by first time screenwriter Scott Bloom. It doesn't indicate that the film will be based on any one source book in particular, so let's assume it will be a mostly factual hagiography with Roosevelt as a flawed but ultimately brave leader. 

Leo will bulk up for the role, I'm sure, mostly so he can win another Oscar so he has a pair to use as bookends for his four MTV Movie Awards. No word on which role Jonah Hill will play, but my money's on Roosevelt's successor in office and his secretary of war, William H. Taft. This would require Hill to bulk up as well, and maybe him and Leo can get swole together so they have something fun to talk about while promoting the film. Just shoot me now.