Mariah Carey’s Undeniably Gorgeous Bikini Pics

What kind of a deviant goes for a night swim in a pool that she has all to herself and doesn’t go for a skinny dip? That is a huge red flag for me, I gotta say. That is the kind of thing that serial killers do because they do not want to draw any attention to themselves. Like, they don’t want to drive over 55 miles per hour on the highway because they do not want to risk getting pulled over with a body in the trunk.

So what I want to know is: What’s Mariah Carey’s secret? What is she trying so hard to keep hidden? Maybe there is a metaphorical body in her metaphorical trunk and a skinny dip would show it to the world.

I, on the other hand, have nothing to hide. I will skinny dip at any time of day, aside from whatever hours children are at the pool. I am confident enough in my agility to be able to outmaneuver any security guards that chase after me. It is a tough job to catch a naked man when he is wet. I’m actually surprised more criminals do not commit the act when they are naked.

Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Splash News