jhanson - December 30, 2016
Lindsay Lohan has been banging some Turkish dude who is paying her and in the process hitting up a bunch of refugee camps to fill some sort of void. Unfortunately she's still talking. She recently went on Facebook Live and compared a finger injury she sustained while black out drunk on a fishing boat to the plight of the refugee crisis over there.
"Losing half of my finger and getting it back was one of the best things that happened to me. If that didn’t happen to me, if I didn’t lose a part of myself essentially and I weirdly think about this when I meditate, I wouldn’t have stayed in Turkey. I wouldn’t have stayed there, and I wouldn’t have understood what it feels like to lose a limb."
What about getting breast implants, did that alert you to the struggles of electric sheep? Here's a secret: The kid with the nub hates you unless you blow him. Americans don't usually live abroad unless they're harboring some serious skeletons. When you move to Turkey, let's just say that's a red flag. So are the herpes. It's not coincidental. It's unclear if Lindsay Lohan is actually mentally retarded. Screwing her would still appear to violate some kind of consent law. Let's carpet bomb them.
Photo Credit: Facebook
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