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Lindsay Lohan: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Look Super Fine

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bill-swift - February 10, 2011

So, Lindsay Lohan walked out of a jewelry store with an expensive necklace in her purse, unpaid. While for most of us, that'd mean a clear case of the old five-finger discount, not so clear in a world where celebrities gets tons of free shizz and favors from store owners and designers to wear and pimp their product at events and on the red carpet. This ain't exactly like the time me and Rocco Beneducci 'borrowed' a couple Fantastic Four comic books from the corner book store. Marvel Comics didn't really see the benefit in me and Rocco's promotional efforts.

Before we fry Lindsay Lohan in the high voltage chair, let's take a moment to consider the more important issue at hand... Lindsay Lohan looked amazing yesterday on her way to, and inside of, the courtroom to face the judge. Tight white dress that hugged her post-rehab tighter curves and bodacious ginger-hearted body. Just imagine how many rough girls down at L.A. County's Women's Detention Center were drooling over the opportunity to host Lindsay Lohan in their 12x8 cements boudoirs. I must admit, I'm considering donning a wig, getting myself arrested, and going full-on M. Butterfly during processing just for the random chance of being assigned Lindsay as my bunkmate. Yes, the tuck and duck is a long way to go for a post lights-out snugglefest with this Mean Girls hottie, but, definitely worth the effort. Don't Free Lindsay! Enjoy.

Photo credit: bauergriffinonline.com / pacificcoastnewsonline.com / Splash News

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