Like a Gallagher Concert, the Redband ‘Evil Dead’ Trailer Should Come With a Splashguard (VIDEO)

Well there goes my huge crush on Jane Levy. The Suburgatory actress was really high up there on my list of celebrities my imaginary girlfriend would allow me to sleep with should the chance present itself. But after seeing the just complete desecration of flesh and humanity that is inflicted upon her and by her in the Evil Dead remake trailer, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at her again and not instinctively imagine her throwing up a plume of bile and blood into her friend's face.

In the much anticipated remake of the 1981 cult-hit horror film, five friends hole themselves inside a remote cabin. When they discover a mysterious book, they unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods.

Evil Dead opens April 12.